A Massive Sinkhole Has Opened Up Directly Outside of Nicolas Cage's Malibu Home
Waking up to find a naked stranger eating a fudgesicle at the foot of his bed. Purchasing a 9-foot tall stone pyramid tomb to be buried under one day. Unknowingly buying a dinosaur skull that had been stolen from the Mongolian government. Owning two pet king cobras (venom left in) who tried to hypnotize him. Dog The Bounty Hunter bailing him out of jail. A gigantic 30-foot sinkhole appearing alongside his house. All things that have happened to Nicolas Cage in real-life. Not in movies. Well... maybe some of them have happened to his characters in movies too. I've never seen The Croods. And he's taken some weird roles when he got into financial trouble (i.e. declared bankruptcy).
My point is, real life Nic Cage gets himself into some sticky situations. But of all the situations Nic Cage has found himself in, aside from maybe the stolen dinosaur skull he outbid Leonardo DiCaprio for at auction... and I guess being hypnotized by cobras was pretty wild too... but a 30-foot sinkhole opening directly outside of his Malibu home still has to be one of the more "beginning of a movie" ass thing to happen in Nic Cage's life yet.
Not to make too much light of this very real, very inconvenient thing Nic Cage is being forced to deal with... Nic Cage better have wandered deep that sinkhole. I'd be a little sad to learn he didn't explore it depths by torch light. God knows what cursed things could be happening underneath Nic Cage's home. Do you know how many cursed items are in that house? I don't. But even post-government seizures, I bet it's more than most. You don't go buying $267K dinosaur skulls as your first foray into artifacts. You don't blow a $150M fortune and declare bankruptcy without "mistakenly" buying a few items capable of sucking your Malibu home into the depths of the underworld.
CNBC – At one point, Cage owned 15 residences across the world, including homes in California and Las Vegas and a deserted island in the Bahamas. He also bought a series of more bizarre items, including a nine-foot-tall burial tomb, an octopus, shrunken pygmy heads, a $150,000 Superman comic and a 70-million-year-old dinosaur skull, which he later had to return to the Mongolian government.
My money is on the shrunken pygmy heads. I've never met a shrunken pygmy head that wasn't cursed. If a shrunken pygmy head collection isn't capable of causing a mini-natural disaster, I don't know what is.
Poor guy. A sinkhole is the last thing you want to deal with after a declaration of bankruptcy. Maybe it's time to get out of Malibu. And maybe get rid of those skulls. As if the constant threat of everything you own bursting into flames doesn't make living there crazy enough... you also have to deal with the occasional hole to hell appearing out of nowhere.