Oklahoma Couple Arrested For Leaving 3 Kids At Home While They Went Out To Play Pickleball
koldo studio. Getty Images.People -- An Oklahoma couple is accused of leaving their three young children home alone so they could go play pickleball.
According to a statement from the Glenpool Police Department, Andrew Dick and Feather Roberts were arrested on Aug. 30 on allegations of child neglect after officers found the children, ages 8, 5, and 1, home without adult supervision.
Authorities said someone called 911 to report they suspected the kids were left alone in the residence. That caller then called Roberts, who allegedly stated that she and Dick were playing pickleball at a court in Bixby, about 20 minutes away. Roberts also indicated the children were with sitters, per the statement.
Listen. I would never condone what went down here in Oklahoma. Clearly Andrew Dick and Feather Roberts are shitty parents. There's no two ways around that. Guys' last name is dick, and the mom's first name is Feather. Could you honestly expect anything different out of these dipshits? No.
But where I'll give them the benefit of the doubt is that the people they play pickleball with? Well they probably leave their 3 kids at home all the time. They're probably constantly telling Dick and Feather about how their kids are home alone while they are out there grinding on the pickleball court. The only issue? Well they are 60 years old, and their kids are 32, 30, and 27. Not 8, 5, and 1. That's just a classic misunderstanding from Dick and Feather.
I also think we need to see how good these two are at pickleball before passing our final judgement. The tough part about pickleball right now is that once you get to a high enough level, it's almost impossible to just show up to a random court and play anymore. Because you can't waste your time playing against the thousands of people who have no idea what they're doing out there. So you need to set up specific groups and times to play with. If Dick and Feather could only play with an advanced group at this specific time and they couldn't find a sitter? Well I'm sure they are thinking to themselves "well it's not like we're Lindsay Clancy or anything here, we're just going to play pickleball".
The judge should at least ask to watch some video from a recent tournament or something before making the final verdict here. It's not like they left their kids at home unattended so they could go out and get high on meth. They just went out to beat the shit out of Walter and Dolores at pickleball. There's worse shit on the news.
If they suck at pickleball, though, then throw the book at them. You can't be a shitty parent AND have a shitty two-hand cross court dink. Words to live by.