Don't Worry California, The Serial Butt Sniffer Who's Been Terrorizing Your State Has Been Arrested... Again

Thank god. I'm visiting family in California this weekend. I was worried the state's resident serial butt sniffer would still be out there sniffing.

I wonder if this guy's parents are still in the picture. This is close to worst case scenario for a son. It's not as bad as pedophile. It's not as bad as rapist. But it might be on par with murder. I can maybe look at a murderer (depending on the circumstances of the murder) and say, "He might have had a good reason. He might be a pretty normal dude who merely had to settle a score with a rival.". If my son grew up to murder a guy... well... maybe he's kind of a bad ass? I truly think I could more easily come to terms with a son who murdered than I could with having my son's face plastered across the internet as a serial butt-sniffer.

On the other hand... hmmm... how do I word this? Allow me to play devil's advocate to myself for a minute:

I would hate to judge a man's past based on his appearances, but by the looks of it, this serial butt-sniffer has a tear drop tattoo. Which I've always been told means you killed a guy. I'm sure that's not true in every case. But if you told me a man with a tear drop tattoo was "on my ass", I think I'd be beyond thrilled to learn he was only there to sniff it. 

Butt sniffing is weird as hell. But to the world... he's not doing THAT much harm. At least not physically. So for a tear drop tattoo guy... if the worst thing he does is sniff butts... I almost think you could count that as a win for society as a whole. Because what happens when he gets out of jail and you've taken away his number one vice? Which is butt-sniffing. What if he becomes so agitated from trying to hold back his butt sniffs that he snaps and goes back to murder? What if all that pent up butt-sniffing energy comes out in a murderous rampage. When you put it that way, is sniffing butts in a Wal-Mart really that bad?

In conclusion, would I rather explain to a dinner party that my son is in prison for murder than explain that my son is constantly in and out of jail for butt-sniffing? Maybe…

But for society, is it dangerous to take away butt-sniffing from this scary looking teardrop tattoo guy who according to his face has killed before? Also maybe… 

Anyways… he's back in jail. For the time being. But I doubt butt-sniffing gets you a life sentence. He's gonna be free again some day. So watch your asses, California. And to the butt sniffer guy – when you get out of jail, boy do I have the PERFECT product for you.