TRAGIC: This Iconic Star Wars Vending Machine In Pittsburgh Has Been Replaced, And The Yinzers Are PISSED

What the hell is happening to this country? Have we no respect for history? Have we no respect for cool fucking shit? Why are we always taking cool fucking shit that's been cool for decades and turning it into something less cool? 

When you roam the streets of the Mount Washington neighborhood in Pittsburgh, you're bound to run into the Star Wars vending machine on Virginia Avenue. I saw it in person last month when I was visiting a friend, and it was truly the 8th wonder of the world to me. Why on Earth would this vintage Star Wars vending machine just be on the corner of a random street in Pittsburgh? It stopped me dead in my tracks. I was absolutely enthralled. 

It's a kickass piece of history, as it was once a piece of promotional material for "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace," which released in May of 1999. Now here we are, nearly 30 years later, and the vending machine is still perched on that sloped sidewalk next to the local fire station. In fact, the fire station owns and stocks the machine. So yes, much like the second Death Star, it is fully operational. 

The machine has a cult following in Pittsburgh, and it's been one of the staples of that community for decades. So when someone fucks with it, you better believe there's gonna be outrage. The Yinzers don't take kindly to that type of bullshit. 

Which is why people are FURIOUS that the vending machine has seemingly been replaced by a 5th grade art project. At first, people thought that someone had merely painted over the original vending machine. But it appears that this is a brand new machine altogether. Which begs the question: Where the fuck is the OG one? 

I specifically waited a couple days to write this blog hoping that we'd have answers by now. But three days have passed and we still don't know shit. Every news outlet in Pittsburgh has covered this story, and they haven't been able to figure out a damn thing. So it looks like I'm gonna have to lead the charge on this one. 

I've reached out to my friend on the scene. I've scoured through the Reddit channels. I've even infiltrated the Mount Washington Facebook group. I am going to get to the bottom of this. And I might just have my first lead…

The witch hunt has begun. Hopefully it's just being repaired. But if someone seriously did steal this thing, there will be hell to pay. 

May the Force be with us all.