Teacher Is Tired Of Having The Stinky Classroom, Sets Up A Designated "Gas Station" In The Corner Of Her Room For Students To Let It Rip
BrilliantEye. Getty Images.NBC -- It is a designated corner of an Atlanta elementary school classroom where students can go when they need to pass … gas.
Its creator, Candy Sydney-Browning, a 36-year-old second-grade teacher, calls it the “gas station.” The specific spot where students go is the “gusty winds area.” There are air freshener sprays nearby. And, according to Sydney-Browning, it works.
Okay so first of all, I'm calling bullshit on the idea that the fart station works. At least in its current form. I don't know if this teacher knows this or not, but farts linger. They have the ability to pass through space and time. It's not like you go over to that corner to rip ass, and then the fart lives there for the duration of its life. The epicenter of the fart is certainly further away from the teacher, and farts generally seem to dissipate over time. It's not like a fart will generate more force as it spreads throughout the air. But overall, I think we have a great idea here that just needs a little bit of workshopping.
For starters, let's talk about ventilation. As of right now, that gas station is nothing more than a block wall. There's nowhere for the gas to escape. We want to incorporate maximum air flow and ventilation here to make sure that stench never makes its way back into the classroom. I don't know if we need to create a special device that attaches to your pants and has a vacuum hose that takes the fart directly out of the window, I don't know if we want to just have a series of fans all directing the air flow out of the classroom, or perhaps you close off the corner entirely with some sort of barrier to trap the gas inside. But either way, the current set up is doing nothing to stop the fart from taking out everybody in that classroom.
Secondly, let's talk about sound proofing. What good is a designated gas station if everyone can still hear you let it rip? The whole idea is to be able to fart in class without disrupting the learning, but the sound is the most disruptive part of it all. The whole classroom is going to erupt in laughter if sounds like you just sat on a duck. This gas station isn't some discreet way to pass gas. It's a humiliation corner. Sound proofing is a must.
But at the end of the day, I guess I just fundamentally disagree with the need for this gas station. Because one of the most important skills in life to learn is how to hide a fart. You're in the middle of class, and you need to fire one off. It's pretty important to learn how to let it out without sounding the alarms. How to become a silent assassin who also possesses the ability to deny culpability. The skill of not being too defensive in your denial as to make it seem obvious it was you, but also so oblivious to the fart that it seems like you're clearly trying to overcompensate. Because when you get into the real world, that gas station isn't going to exist. You're going to be on a train, you're going to be on a plane, you're going to be in meetings, you're going to be in an elevator. You need to learn how to get away with the crime, and the fart corner is hampering that development. It's a no for me.