What The Hell Happened To Quiznos Subs? Chicago's Only Remaining Location Just Shut Its Doors Forever, And It's A Damn Shame
Pour one out for the Quiznos on Division Street, man.
This place was a landmark in the Old Town neighborhood of Chicago, serving as an old remnant of the once proud fast-food franchise. For those of you who don't know, Quiznos used to be the second-biggest submarine sandwich chain only behind Subway. At its peak, Quiznos had close to 5,000 locations nationwide. Today, that number has dwindled all the way down to a little over 100. And the third-biggest city in the country is now Quiznos-less.
They even got a shoutout in 21 Jump Street back in the day! Channing Tatum's character has to take a Pop-Quiznos, which is a science test that grants the first person to finish it a gift card to -- you guessed it -- Quiznos. It's one of the least quotable lines from that entire movie, but I think about it a lot for some reason.
If I was back in college, I would've absolutely tried to organize a candlelight vigil for the place. Being a part of the vigil for the Taco Bell that closed at Penn State was one of the more beautiful experiences of my life. A truly emotional night that wound up making national headlines. To this day, I can't drink a Baja Blast without thinking about it.
But the difference here is that -- unlike Taco Bell -- this isn't just one location closing. This is a sign of the entire franchise dying right before our very eyes. And you can be a jerkoff who says "Well Connor, Chicago is one of the best food cities in the country. Who gives a fuck about a Quiznos closing down?"
Listen, I am not above fast food. I fucking love fast food. It was a delicacy when I was growing up, and I still treat it as such. I can't tell you how fired up I'd get when I was on the road for a game or a tournament and there was a fucking Quiznos in the town we were staying. That was a godsend.
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Now you might not give a shit about this story, but there are definitely some people in the Barstool office who do. The Chicago guys filmed some content there five years ago, and it's become a cult classic video of theirs.
And if you still don't think this place resonated with some of my coworkers, Dante The Don will get up in your ass to remind you that it did. He replied to my Quiznos tweet last night with a "Respect your elders" type of tone because I didn't mention him or the original White Sox Dave video. So I'd like to formally apologize to Dante for not "checking in" with him from the Quiznos, similar to how you're supposed to check in with a rapper when you enter his/her city. That's on me.
But RIP to the Chicago Quiznos. Thankfully, there's a Jersey Mike's right around the corner and it's spectacular.