Surviving Barstool: I Waited 3 Years to Play Attack & Defend Only to Get Fucked by MUT

I believe it's every Barstool employee's dream to play Surviving Barstool. At least it was for me. The chaos, the scheming, the back stabbing, all the elements that make for good reality TV are on full display in this beautiful yet evil game we play. Aside from the potential life changing money, the main reason why I always wanted to be on Surviving Barstool was to play this game.

Attack and Defend. A certified Barstool classic. A game in which you know no matter what, the chaos will follow and this year was no different than years prior. However, instead of Rico throwing a tantrum or Megan Makin Muffins not being able to score, this FIFA AI generated default build a ref character MUT decided that after four days of doing nothing he was going to blow his whistle not once but twice to fuck over me and my team. 

What is pissing me off is that before the challenge started they explicitly said they would NOT call slight leans as a penalty. 

Which is why Feits no joke leaned off his dot SIX times and never got called for it once! The guy who explained the rules was the "ref" for the guys downstairs meaning that every thrower or goalie got away with a slight lean off the dot with no penalty. 

Which is why it makes no fucking sense that the one "official" ref we had made one of the most egregious calls in Attack and Defend history. It's not like it was an 8-2 blow out game where the call means nothing. Instead this prick decides to blow his whistle in a 6-6 game!! 

OH! I almost forgot! This prick also blew an inadvertent whistle that cost my team a point! How the fuck do you blow the whistle to give us a penalty, take it back, and then TAKE AWAY OUR POINT?!?!?! 

As for my teammates… I mean what the fuck were you guys doing? How is it possible that we only attempted 9 shots in a game up to 10?!?! Even if Marty went 100% we still would have lost! I faced 25 shots, we only attempted 9!!! How the fuck did the people up stairs not see that Brandon Walker was taking Glenny's lunch the entire game?!?! HOW DO YOU NOT SWITCH THAT AT HALF?????

But I guess I'll have to live with the satisfaction of putting on the greatest goalie performance is Surviving Barstool history.