Everybody Leave Chris Berman And His Negative Ass Alone!
Having a plump, voluptuous booty is absolutely a young man's game. You're in the gym doing squats. You're still playing some rec league sports to keep that thickness in place. You head to the bar on a Saturday night and you throw that ass in a circle. The chicks dig a dude with a meaty tush.
But eventually, having a big ol' booty starts to be a deterrent. Chris Berman is 71-years-old. He doesn't have it in him anymore to spend 5 minutes every morning trying to pull his pants up over that ass. He can't be jumping and wriggling around trying to fit 2 pounds of beef into a 1 pound casing. Sure, it might be a tough look to go full Mintzy like this look right here from Boomer.
It's like his ass and his back are working a 2-for-1 special. A little buy one, get one sitch. But I can guarantee you that he's not battling his pants for 12 rounds every morning to get them on. His ass isn't taking up all the real estate in his khakis, and now his pockets are free to carry around all the hard candies he needs to get him through his day.
You get 50 good years with your ass. 60-65 years if you're a hockey player. After that, it just starts to get in the way.