SOUND THE PRESSES!!! NEW SPECIES OF MONKEY JUST DROPPED!!!

What a summer for the Democratic Republic of Congo. They make their first appearance in the World Cup in 52 years. They tied Portugal. Qualified for the knockout stage. They had a fan who stood super still.

And now, best of all, they've discovered a brand new species of monkey. 

That being said, I don't trust that monkey one bit. It has a very suspicious look. And listen to that noise he's making. That's not a monkey noise. It sounds more like a bullfrog. Or a Bigfoot. At this point, I think it would be foolish to rule out aliens. Just look at the guy. He looks like an alien doing his best impression of a monkey. To be perfectly honest, he kinda looks like he's doing blackface. 

So not only could this monkey be an alien, it also might be racist? Racist monkey aliens? On the lib side of the Congo? This "monkey" has bad news written all over him.

Or maybe it's just a harmless new species of earth monkey that we haven't seen before. Discovering a new species must be a pretty awesome feeling. Not many people can say they've done that. At least I didn't think so until I Googled it, and came to find that we're living in a golden age of species discovery.

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University of Arizona – Between 2015 and 2020 – the most recent period with comprehensive data – researchers documented an average of more than 16,000 new species each year, including more than 10,000 animals (dominated by arthropods and insects), 2,500 plants and 2,000 fungi. 

Even if most new species are bugs (which does kinda seems like cheating), according to the University of Arizona, there are still roughly 200-300 new fish, 100 new reptiles, 50-100 new amphibians, and 5-10 new mammals/birds discovered each year. I had no idea we were unlocking species at such an aggressive clip. You learn something new every day.

But I still don't trust that monkey. Be safe out there, DR Congo.