Irv Was a Prince, and I Was Married to His Beautiful Daughter...
Previously, Chapter 28: Could It Be That I Had Found My Home At Last?
When Irv wasn't sending me out to do small jobs on my own, he and I were working together, installing steam boilers, remodeling kitchens and baths, and repairing old threaded brass water mains and even older cast-iron drains. We functioned like a well-oiled machine, and he was starting to enjoy having an ambitious young apprentice around who was also married to his youngest daughter.
One morning, he dropped me off to install a new 80-gallon electric water heater, and he told me not to carry the old one up the bulkhead myself, that it was filled with sediment and much heavier than the new one we just slid down into the basement. He said that when he came back, he'd help me carry the old one using the two-wheeler he'd be leaving out back before he left.
I didn't wait. I did it myself and set it on the curb so he'd see it as soon as he pulled up. I was 25, strong as fuck back then, and I loved proving it to Irv.
Another morning, he dropped me off at an older house and left me to install a new toilet myself. My first solo toilet. I had watched Irv install many toilets, and he started letting me do parts of the install under his supervision. I knew what I was doing, and I was confident I could install one without any help.
No one was home, so there was no pressure except the pressure I put on myself. As soon as Irv left, I went to work.
First, I drained the old toilet, removed it, and left it outside. Then I unboxed the new one and immediately started installing it. I wanted to get it in and working before Irv got back.
Once I had the new bolts and wax ring on the old cast iron flange, I set the bowl and began tightening it. I had never seen wide pine boards installed in a bathroom, but it was a wicked old house, so I assumed that's how they did it back then, before they started using plywood and covering it with cheap Linoleum.
After I snugged the bowl to the floor, there was absolutely no wobble, which is every plumber's goal. No one wants a rocking hopper; besides, they tend to leak.
Next, I installed the tank, attaching it to the bowl and making sure it was level and tight. Once the bowl and tank were done, I installed the new chrome tank supply, making the necessary bends so it lined up perfectly. After cutting it to length, I installed it.
Then I slowly turned the water on, adjusted the float, checked for leaks, and, once I confirmed it was working the way it should, I flushed it several times. It was like music to my ears.
After installing the new seat, I stood back, flushed it one more time, and took a moment to admire my work. I knew Irv was gonna love it!
I waited for Irv by the front door, anticipating how proud he'd be, and hoping he'd arrive soon. I could hardly wait to see his reaction…
About fifteen minutes later, still waiting by the front door, I heard a strange sound, like a high-pitched 'ping', and it came from the bathroom. "What the fuck was that?" I wondered.
I ran back into the bathroom, hoping it was nothing. I immediately saw that the right-rear section of the toilet bowl had cracked and separated from the rest of the bowl, much like a small piece of a glacier breaking away from the main glacier. I couldn't fucking believe it! I didn't over-tighten it…
All of a sudden I was stressing out. What was Irv gonna say? What would I say to Irv? I waited by the front door, but this time I was hoping he'd never show up-
Then I saw his van coming down the street. This wasn't gonna be the proud moment I had hoped for. This could very well be the moment I'd piss off my father-in-law and lose my edge.
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As he walked into the house, I frantically began explaining what happened: describing the ping sound I heard fifteen minutes after the install was complete. He walked into the bathroom and got on his knees to get a closer look. Then he said, "Vin, look at the floor. The pine boards are loose and not level. They're gonna have to fix the floor joists and redo the pine. How can we install a toilet on that?"
Fortunately, the small section that broke off didn't prevent the toilet from being used.
Once they had a carpenter lined up, Irv went back himself, removed the damaged bowl, and, after the floor was fixed, reinstalled a new bowl and completed the installation.
Irv could've freaked out, but he didn't. He remained calm and gave me an explanation that absolved me of any fault, so I wouldn't lose my edge.
I never accepted that it wasn't my fault. 100%, I fucked up. I always suspected Irv was protecting me, even if only from myself. He didn't want to damage my ego or slow my momentum. I never cracked another toilet…
I don't know what I did to deserve it, but Irv was a fucking Prince, and I was married to his beautiful daughter!
Irv was the only one who could call her 'Suzie', and when I slipped up, she always reminded me…
To be continued…