"Chipped To Death" This Japanese Tourist Raving About How America Gives FREE Chips & Salsa With Every Meal Will Bring A Tear To Your Eye And Is Also More Proof That This USA World Cup RULES
Cynicism be damned, it's been pretty darn great seeing all these visiting countries enjoy America to the FULLEST for the World Cup. Whether it's the Scots in Boston or that German dude traveling across the heartland, what an inspiring way to see our own incredible country through all these new eyeballs. And as you can expect, these tourists are loving what they're seeing. And eating. More on that below the fold...
Because this Tweet from an alleged Japanese tourist went MEGA viral over the weekend, to the tune of 16+ million views. Frankly, its enough to bring a tear to your eye.
Advertisement
USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.
Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.
I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."
"They just come with the table, man."
They come with the TABLE.
In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner. This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat. I ate with the gravity the moment deserved.
And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.
"Did we…?"
"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."
Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined. My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude." Too late.
I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man. I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.
Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived. I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.
Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse.
The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.
Giphy Images.Is anyone else ready to run through brick wall right now? Fire me the fuck up Japan!
Advertisement
And truthfully, I don't even like eating chips either. But now I feel like it's my God-given American duty to do so. We're making tourists rethink their entire existence over here just from 1-5 baskets o' chip. They're getting chipped to DEATH! And yet still asking for MORE?
America, the beautiful, indeed. Gotta get that dude on Pardon My Take ASAP.
And although some people are saying that Japanese account is clearly an AI bot, just like Fox Mulder I WANT TO BELIEVE it's real. Plus I'm way too far into this blog to turn back now. Plus the sentiment still remains all the same,. At the very least, this has been a helpful annual reminder for YOU to go chip yourself into a coma post haste.
After all, that's what George Washington & the Founding Fathers would've wanted for us in the year of our lord 2026. Now if only we could figure out how to clean up our streets a little better too, we'd really be cooking with gas here in America. Jaboo knows what I'm talking about. 頑張ってください！