The Best Part of the World Cup So Far is Seeing America Through the Eyes of Soccer Tourists Coming Here for the First Time

Jerry Thornton6/09/2026 3:45 PM

Boston Globe. Getty Images.

I'm going to dispense with the tired cliches about the sport of soccer. Because the jokes have all been made before. Because everyone's heard the beefs non-soccer fans have with the game. And because I'm not writing Rick Reilly's column on the back page of Sports Illustrated in 1996. I don't have to be a fan of a sport to appreciate any time the world comes together for something billions of people are passionate about that doesn't involve firing missiles at each other. If every four years I can watch Biathlon, Speed Skating, Archery, Shotput, and Presidential elections, I can get into the World Cup.

But before the first balls have even been kicked, I think I might have already stumbled upon my favorite part of this whole massive, continent-wide event. And that is seeing the reaction of soccer fans coming to these United States of America for the very first time. Seeing our life through someone else's eyes, someone from overseas who has never experienced some of the things we take for granted, offers a perspective on our world that is more important than it's ever been as we celebrate 250 years of telling our European colonial rulers to piss off.

My algorithm has been pushing this content on me over the last few hours, and in no way am I complaining. And I can't think of a better person to start with than this young lady from Sweden. Who may actually just be very convincing AI:

I don't care. Whatever Elsa is buying, I'm selling. Either she or whoever runs her X account loves America, and so should we all:

She is, of course, right. "Breakfast in America" isn't just the name of Supertramp's quadruple platinum album, it's something we can all be proud of. I'm coming off a two-week trip around southern Italy, and never once found a morning meal that was anything more than some admittedly excellent pastry and strong coffee served in a cup the size of the thimble off a Monopoly board. Imagine this visitor to our shores walking into Jackie's place and experiencing not only a giant plate of eggs over easy, hash browns, some kind of sandwich with her first sampling of Ranch, a plate of fries the size of Skokloster Castle, only to discover we also have the technology to fill mini pretzels with Buffalo-seasoned Blue Cheese goo AND Twinkies for dessert. All this while we're busy getting back to the moon before anyone else has gotten there even once.

Sticking with the theme of breakfast for a minute, this gentleman from Germany landed in Georgia, and knew precisely where to go to immerse himself in the culture of the South:

While also soaking in the wonders of our iconic dining options that are the same from sea to shining sea:

Sure, the area of Europe he's from gave the world Bach, Beethoven, Einstein, Kelper, Kant, Hegel and Nietzsche. But none of these artists, scientists and thinkers ever gave the world 24-hour waffles, square miles of retail, speed burgers and massive beverage concoctions with enough corn syrup to put you in a diabetic coma. Advantage: America.

Here's one of his countrymen, having a near religious experience in Chicago, beginning with the fine foods:

… continuing with the city itself:

… and finally getting a taste of America doing what we do best: Celebrating how awesome we are:

So welcome, world. This is what we've been building for the last quarter of a millennia. We might be loud and obnoxious about it, not to mention morbidly obese. And we prefer our games where everybody has to use their hands. But enjoy your stay. Please keep this sort of content coming. And when you get back home, try and make your own countries more like this one. You'll be thanking yourselves for generations.