Kevin Durant Was Caught Hiding in Bushes Outside Restaurant to Avoid Paparazzi (It Did Not Work)

Ha. Hmm. Nothing to see here, guys. Just a woman in a big shirt and a regular sized bald man leaving Nobu. Not a 7-foot tall NBA superstar to be found. 

Classic Kevin Durant accidentally going viral while attempting to be under the radar. He once thought he could argue on Twitter in peace under a getoffmydickerson burner account, and it turned him into the most high-profile poster in the history of sports. He thought he could sneak into Nobu Malibu without anybody noticing, all to avoid a complete nothing of a picture that nobody would care about, and now he's going viral for hiding in the bushes.

You just can't hide when you're a 7-footer. Which he is in shoes. Maybe that was his problem last night. He always insists that he's actually 6-foot-9. He thought he could hide behind a 6-9 bush. He would have had better luck employing a look-alike to send in before him as a distraction. 

Brutal angle for Kevin Durant's mystery woman by the way. I'm confident that she's stunningly fit and beautiful IRL. But from that angle, in that big bowling shirt, from the waist up she kinda looks like she has the body type of Cedric The Entertainer. 

I don't think I've ever wished well on a paparazzi before, but I hope that guy/gal was paid handsomely/gorgeously for that picture. Good stuff, KD. Stay goofy.