America Has Achieved Peak Culinary Excellence By Pickling Pineapples In Kool-Aid
There's nothing better than a nice little treat on a hot summer's day, right? Maybe you're outside all afternoon cutting the grass, and you head inside looking for a delicious little something to get you going again. It needs to be refreshing. A little cool, a little sweet, something that immediately makes you forget that it's 95 degrees outside with the sun beating directly over top of you.
For the longest time, I thought pickles were the ultimate underrated summer snack. Especially when you're making your own pickles. You pack a jar of pickles in the cooler to the beach in the summer, and it really doesn't get better than that. They're fresh, they're salty, they've got a great pop of acidity. And if you're making your own pickles, you can have total control. You can control how much salt or sugar or vinegar goes into the brine depending on what you're looking for in a pickle.
But the one thing you typically can't do is make the cucumbers taste exactly like a pitcher of Kool-Aid. At least not with any pickle recipe I've ever seen.
That is, of course, until the fine folks in what I'm assuming is Florida have decided to completely flip the pickle game on its head. Instead of cucumbers, they have opted to use pineapple. And instead of a brine mixture of salt, sugar, vinegar, and water? Well it looks like they're just dumping Kool-Aid packets into the pineapple juice.
The result is a concoction so delicious that consumers can't even speak after having a taste.
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Here's the thing--maybe don't look into the nutritional value here. Life is all about experiences, so why ruin your experience of Kool-Aid pineapples by looking into the fact that these contain enough sugar to guarantee you a heart attack at some point in the near future. Say what you want about these things, but the fact of the matter is pretty simple.
Dih bih gah.
Michelin star this. James Beard that. No culinary award or honor can compare to "dih bih gah". You know for a fact that if someone put a jar of these in front of you with a fork, you would indulge. You might not be proud of yourself after the fact, but you would indulge nevertheless.
Snack of the summer confirmed.