Life Of A Suburban Dad Volume 3 - Lawn Maintenance Is One Of The Most Important Parts of Home Ownership In The `Burbs

Folks if there is one thing that many are passionate about in the suburbs, it is their lawn maintenance so let's talk about it. 

This all started the other night when I had a ridiculous dream

Honestly, that is what I am dreaming about out here in the `burbs. My hyper fixation on my lawn goes back to my childhood.

Despite people's preconceived notions about me based on God knows what, I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. Quite the opposite. My parents both worked to support me and my sisters. At times, my dad was working two jobs to make ends meet and that will forever be one of the reasons he is my hero. 

Commuting to NYC from the Jersey `burbs meant that he mowed the lawn on the weekends and when I was old enough, it meant I was helping to mow the lawn too. As I think back on things now, there were some weekends I was mowing the lawn solo either because I wanted to surprise him that I got it knocked out for him or because he was working on the weekends so he didn't have time to do it himself. One thing that was a certainty in our house growing up, though, was that our lawn looked pristine at all times so it always got done. I learned that pride from my father and hold it with me to this day. I was happy to help him with the lawn from the time I was little until the time I left my parent's house for West Point at 17. 

Which brings us to our first topic with lawn maintenance - doing it yourself vs hiring landscapers. 

I truthfully think you can make an argument for this either way but ultimately this comes down to time and money. Do you have the time and do you have the money? You might have one and not the other, which dictates your choice. The lesser discussed consideration is quality of the job. I would say by and large, all landscapers work incredibly hard. However, when you have to hit 20 lawns in a single day, the quality on each job might suffer a bit. From what I see out my window, the companies come in on their stand-up riders and knock out the lawn as fast as possible. One guy mowing while one guy edges. They are efficient and to the naked eye the lawn looks to be in good shape. Anyone who cuts their own lawn will tell you though, there is no way you can do a fully proper job that quickly unless this is the lawn size.

Again though, these companies are not doing a bad job by any stretch. They are doing the job required when you have a full day's worth of work. 

I can appreciate this because I actually worked on a crew after I got out of the Army before I started my career. My buddy's company needed bodies, paid cash, and I had nothing else to do except wait around until my job started. If we were at a house longer than 30 minutes it would back us up for the entire day. 

Speaking of, I guess I shouldn't have buried the lede and started with the hot topic - acceptable lawn maintenance time window. 

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At the time I am writing this there are 3K replies! Yikes! I have't taken this many mortars since I was at LSA Anaconda in Balad in 2008. My goodness! 

I am not stubborn enough that I won't amend my statement slightly. I am willing to push things back beyond 4pm to account for when people are home but the anger in these replies is completely unhinged lolol. I threw it in the ole' Google machine and got  a bigger window too so I am not too proud to admit I was wrong. Ultimately though, I won't waiver on my underlying point and that is simple - be considerate of your neighbors. 

I am a people pleaser by nature which is my own problem. I often bend over backwards for others even when those people don't deserve it or treat me kindly. In the back of my head, I am always thinking, "will this bother anyone?" The idea of mowing my lawn at 8pm makes my skin crawl regardless if it is still light out. People come home from a long day and the last thing they want to hear is the noise coming from a lawnmower for 40 minutes. So last night as I am trying to feed my two kids (one is 3 next month and the other is 9mo), bathe them, and get them to bed, I wasn't jazzed about hearing a lawn mower. To my earlier point, I can appreciate if lawn companies are backed up and need to get houses done. As a rule of thumb though, be courteous. 

Also to the people telling me they are still sleeping at 730a or 8a…please grow up. The adults are awake by then and heading out the door to the gym, work, or taking the kids to school. 

However, I do appreciate when people take care of their property! Having pride in your lawn

If you let your lawn get destroyed or allow it to go weeks without mowing it, this is also inconsiderate to your neighbors. No one wants an eyesore in the neighborhood. What stinks about this is unless you have a HOA, you largely cannot do anything about it because are you going to knock on someone's door to tell them to mow their lawn? Of course not. 

What you might do though is tell your 11 year old son that a great way to make extra money is to knock on that same door and offer to mow the lawn for $10, which is how my Dad started me mowing lawns in the neighborhood to earn money for myself. 

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Quick detour to further cement that I was not a silver spoon kid. I was in 8th grade and needed new basketball sneakers for the upcoming season. Now, I didn't want for anything growing up because my parents worked hard but I also wasn't handed anything I asked for either. When we were in the store, the sneakers I wanted were definitely out of the acceptable price range of what I normally got but my Dad could tell I really wanted them. He looks at me and says, "Remember all the lawns you mowed this summer? Ok, well I will buy one shoe." I was perplexed. What am I going to do with one shoe? Can you buy just one shoe? He explained, "I will buy these today but when we get home, you owe me for half." I never forgot that clearly. 

Lastly, the less discussed topic but ever present option now is gas versus electric versus battery.

Me? I am a gas man. Always have been, always will be.  

In my brain, gas operated tools and mowers work better. The idea that you are going to be mowing your lawn with 400 yards of extension cord doesn't compute to me. Plus, I just assume at some point people mow their extension cord. People try to advocate for batteries but in my head, I don't care what the user manual says, I picture those batteries dying exactly when you need them to work.

Doing your lawn should always have a faint smell of gasoline. Everyone knows that contributes to the fresh cut grass smell, which is undefeated. 

There you have it, folks. Pay attention to your lawn and be respectful of your neighbors. Happy mowing.