There's No Better Celebration Than Shotgunning A Beer Thrown At Your Head By Opposing Fans Because You Ripped Their Hearts Out

You know what? Fuck yeah. It's all fair game if you score in stoppage time to win and everyone starts launching beer cans at your head, you turn into Ronny Doitche. You leave that field like Stone Cold taking a bukkake of foam to the face

Out here looking like a glazed donut, but he got the win and a free beer. Not a bad trade at all. In fact if I'm commissioner of the MLS, I encourage more of this. I'm not saying lean into the whole 90s XFL style, but everyone wants to shit on the MLS, just beat them with entertainment. We already have Messi. Now give me a man with a receding hairline dumping beer over him after a win. It's the best celebration in sports. I don't think you can find anything better than a solid beer shotgun. 

Makes sense that Sam Sarver is an Ohio kid who went to Indiana. The man was basically made in a lab to be an MLS player shotgunning beers. I'm ready to bring him on for the last spot on the World Cup team. Use him as the enforcer, he clearly knows how to handle pressure. Worst case he's 100% a locker room guy.