Sometimes Playoff Hockey Is All About Literally Kicking Your Opponent Square In The Dick
Timothy Hurst. Getty Images.It's the Stanley Cup Playoffs. If you want to have your name etched onto that Cup for the rest of time, you need to find a way to grind out 16 wins against 4 of the best hockey teams in the world. Every team left at this stage is a wagon. There are superstars all over the ice. Guys who have been there and done it before, and guys who seem destined to leave their mark on NHL history.
Every game is a battle. I know people hate when you compare sports to war, but it's a microcosm. You need to be willing to do whatever it is to help your team survive and advance. Because in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, survival is everything.
So if that means you need to literally kick another player in the cock with your skate just to gain some sort of mental/emotional/physical advantage in this series? Well then Brent Burns is happy to oblige.
Brent Burns has been around this game a long ass time. He started his career with the Minnesota Wild 20 years ago. He's played in a Cup Final in San Jose. He's played in a couple Eastern Conference Finals in Carolina. He's 41-years-old, and this might be his last chance to get his name on the Cup this year as a member of the Colorado Avalanche. He's going to do whatever it takes out there. He's not going to allow Kirill Kaprizov to get hot in this series after he scored earlier in the night to make it a 1-1 game.
"THIS SERIES IS NUTS" was actually a great premonition of things to come later in the night. If anyone knows a thing or two about nuts right now, it's Kirill Kaprizov. Because his nuts are currently somewhere in the top shelf of his chest after taking Burnzie's CCM JetSpeed's right to the nads.
You've got Brent Burns playing hacky sack with Kaprizov's literal sack, and then you have Nathan MacKinnon pigeon tossing Matt Boldy into the boards in the final minutes of the game.
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A goal, 2 assists, and a murder on the night for the NateDogg. It's pretty obvious which team has been the alpha so far in this series. Colorado is out for blood. Meanwhile, Quinn Hughes won't even soak a shot for his teammates the other night.
Colorado wins 5-2, and extends their series lead to 2-0. That's the way playoff hockey goes.