I Almost Got Abducted On Spring Break. I Also Jumped Off The Stratosphere, Fainted In Mid Air, And Got To DJ At Gronk Beach. It Was A Hell Of A Time
By now you know a gang of misfits- myself included, went to Las Vegas and fucking dominated. We went wire to wire engaging in some of the best partying, dining at some of the nicest restaurants, racing the world's finest sports cars, etc. etc. You fucking name it, we did it. You can knock it all you want, just know you have a giant dump in your pants and need to change your diaper. Anytime you can spend a week in Vegas, on an advertiser's dime, sleeping in the Maloof suite at Palms Hotel, eating your dick off- it's a win in my book.
I'll give a quick rundown of some of the highlights for myself, before getting to the story of how I was almost abducted. If that's all you care about- kindly scroll to the bottom.
We got in on Saturday, and promptly headed to Encore Beach Club.
Easily one of the best dayclubs in the world- and one of my personal favorites.
WrestleMania was happening that same weekend so wrestling superstars were everywhere. Ric Flair was hosting an event there with Diplo.
In typical Diplo fashion, he was supposed to do a meet and greet with us prior to going on, but deferred, and then turned down Katic who was dying to meet Flair, and was stuck standing by with security and management for 20 minutes to go up and pound a pitcher of beer on stage. If only Caleb was there.
Oh well.
Later that night we headed to dinner at Papi Steak, which was awesome, and then hit XS to see Marshmello.
We had another meet and greet and some sort of pre-game set up with him but that fell through also. The Wynn Nightlife/XS team were fucking amazing though and took incredible care of us. They gifted us a gold Marshmello helmet that we got Meek Phil to put on and it gave him superpowers. Guy turned into a dancing machine and was a different person. It was awesome to see.
9/10th of our cast and crew headed home but I stayed out with Mikey Bets, Danny, Meek Phil, and Doitche and took them all to my old stomping grounds- Zouk, where Lil Wayne was performing.
He went on around 4am and gave a 45 minute performance that was fucking amazing. It was well worth the wait.
The next day we did another day party that was much more chill and that night we headed to Marquee where Gronk was hosting his annual "Gronk Beach" party.
I got to DJ, and Katic got to get up on stage and wrestle shirtless with Rob for what felt like an hour.
The two went at it like professionals, and Katic even got Rob up on his shoulders and squatted him a couple times. It was hilarious.
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Later in the week, we went to Speed Vegas where we all got to race our choice of dream sportscars. It was insane. They had Lambourghinis, Ferraris, Porches, McClarens, you name it. Surprsingly, Ella kicked everybody's ass and won the fastest lap time while behind the wheel of a GT3 that she drove like a pro.
As punishment for coming in the last 4 spots, (I almost spun out my Ferrari GTB), Annika, Nicky Smokes, and Dani Jackel were forced to jump off the Stratosphere.
Everybody was fucking terrified, but I absolutely crushed it.
Just kidding. It was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life, and if the guy who hooked up the harness didn't give me a slight push, I would still be up on that ledge frozen in terror. I screamed until my lungs gave out, and then I blacked out. I opened my eyes right before I hit the ground and all I could remember was the instructor telling us NOT to go in with our legs straight, and to bend our knees. So I made sure my knees were bent, and I just crumpled like a paper bag on touchdown. All I could see, and hear, was Nicky Smokes bent over crying laughing. At least I survived.
Onward and upward.
The next night we got to go watch the Las Vegas Golden Knights take on Utah in Game 2 and it was fucking electric. They took such good care of us it was insane.
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One of the nights, Tommy, Nicky and I decided to head to old reliable, The Spearmint Rhino. We took along Ben from the social team and we had ourselves a time. Nicky left solo at I don't know what time, Tommy fell in love and headed to the backroom, and after the sweet and innocent young lady I was speaking to tried shaking me down to fund her breast implant surgery, I knew it was time to head back to the hotel.
I walked outside at around 6am, to find a completely empty parking lot, people walking their dogs, going on morning jogs, and heading to work, while being blasted in the face with blinding sun like I was Nosferatu.
What happened next can only be explained as a very unfortunate series of events that somebody much smarter, and less trusting than myself probably never would have found themselves in.
I explained it all on Ella, Katic, and my show "Friday Night Pints". You can watch the clip here
Luckily, I made it back safe and sound and lived to see another day. I'm lucky I'm not being turned out in some gay sex dungeon in Dubai somewhere.
You can watch the full episode here where we recap the entire week in Vegas if you want-
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All in all, it was an awesome week in Vegas, and I couldn't be higher on the place. I had some fuckinng incredible dinners (standouts include Sinatra, Carbone Riviera, and SuperFrico) saw one of the most amazing shows - Absinthe - if you haven't seen in and are headed to Vegas, it's an absolute must. I can't recommend it enough. The stunts they do are insane, and the chicks are fucking out of control sexy.
It's also pretty funny with raunchy humor.
Vegas was a blast. And it was so much fun that I couldn't say yes fast enough when Big Cat and Max asked me to come back with them this weekend for Max's bachelor party.