A Video Leaked Of O'Hare Baggage Handlers Launching Bags Onto A Conveyer Belt With No Regard For Human Life, And It Is The Least Surprising Thing Of All Time

The above footage leaked this week of O’Hare baggage handlers chucking luggage onto a conveyor belt with the kind of reckless, full-body commitment you usually only see from guys who genuinely do not give a single solitary fuck about their job, their airport, your belongings, or you as a person. 

Hard fucking throws.

I think this guy was crow-hopping as he shot put them onto that thing. 

The reaction from anyone who has ever set foot inside O’Hare International Airport should be a collective, unanimous shrug. Because this is THE least surprising thing ever.

Here’s the thing a lot of people forget about O’Hare- it is an anomaly in the space-time continuum of the Midwest. 

Chicago is a great city. Chicagoans are genuinely solid people. Midwesterners overall actually, honestly some of the most decent humans on the planet. 

They’re insanely nice. 

Friendly. 

They wave you into traffic. 

It’s almost unsettling coming from the northeast.

You land at O’Hare and it’s like the airport exists in a different dimension entirely. It does not feel like you’re in Illinois. It feels like LaGuardia and Philly International had a baby, raised it on pure misery, and put it in charge of handling 900 flights a day. 

Everyone working there looks like they’re on hour 14 of a double they didn’t sign up for. They’re all fucking miserable. 

Everyone flying through there looks like they’ve already missed a connection. 

The vibes and all the energy overall is hostile. 

Add to it that it’s outdated and falling apart and I’m pretty sure some of those terminals have been under construction since 1987.

On top of all that, the traffic situation to and from that airport is a war crime. 

You budget an extra hour and you’re still late. 

And then you get there and it’s a maze, and the signage lies to you, and you end up in the wrong terminal, and you miss your flight, and you die there.

So yes, obviously the baggage handlers are out there treating checked Samsonites like a NFL combine drill. 

Of course they are. They work at O’Hare.

That place broke them. 

That place breaks everyone.

You check your bags at O’Hare, then you know what you’re fuckin signing up for. That’s the deal. 

Never check a bag unless you absolutely have to. 

Professionals figure out a way to always carry on.

If you absolutely must check luggage, and you want your stuff handled with care, fly out of Midway. 

If you’re checking anything fragile out of O’Hare, that’s on you at this point. That video just became American and United’s legal disclaimer.

p.s.- Miami’s the only airport I’d put in the same conversation, by the way. MIA is its own special kind of lawlessness. But O’Hare has the unique distinction of being located in one of the friendliest major cities in America and somehow being completely immune to that energy. Miami international looks, feels, and smells like a third world country airport.