ALERT TO ALL MOTHERS: Bonnie Blue Is In Cancun Threatening To Sleep With All Of Your Sons On Spring Break (Whilst Allegedly Pregnant With A 400 Person Gangbang Baby)
Quick PSA for any mothers out there who might have a college aged son down in Cancun right now. Thoughts & Prayers to you in this trying time. As far as Spring Break destinations go for a guy, Mexico is probably the most dangerous place in the world right now. Except this has nothing to do with the ongoing cartel war.
It's because (pregnant?) Bonnie Blue has entered the battlefield ready to fuck every frat guy she sees into their own personal fog of war. Dread it, run from it, Bonnie comes all the same. Which is pretty bad news for all these mothers she's threatening.
Love her or hate her, she is... inevitable.
(SOURCE) - Announcing her arrival in the Mexican party hotspot, Bonnie filmed a video aimed directly at the thousands of American college students flooding the beaches for the annual week of partying. Bonnie told viewers she wants to attempt another “world record” stunt during the festivities, teasing that the upcoming weekend could produce her “most outrageous video yet.”
In it she said: “Hey boys, I’m in Cancun Spring Break and I want to break another world record. So this weekend if you turn 18 overnight, come and see me and I can make my most barely legal video yet. And you can leave your V-card deep inside of me.”
Then, in a twisted nod to the pregnancy rumours, she added: “Oh, and that’s not the only thing inside of me.” In a further teaser, she said: “I’m going back to drain Spring Break again,” she said in a recent teaser, suggesting the upcoming trip could be even bigger than previous years.
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Now I've certainly blogged my fair share of Bonnie Blue news. Arguably too much of it. But the pageviews are always there at the top of the list too, so clearly the general public is fascinated by her exploits as well. It's such a fine line between stupid and clever, ya know?
Speaking of which, still no word on who's the father of her allegedly growing baby. Turns out the DNA test becomes an especially sticky situation when there's 400 sacks of flesh involved. Who knew!
But in Bonnie's case, I think I have finally found my limit with her. You can't just go around threatening various random mothers using your pregnant pussy as a WMD against their innocent sons. That's a scheme so fucked up even The Joker wouldn't touch it.
All gas, no birth control. Ran hard and put away soaking wet, etc. ENOUGH!
Also do NOT adjust your television sets on these Cancun pictures. If you were feeling some deja vu, it's not you, it's her.
This is almost the exact playbook she ran during Spring Break last year, other than the Gotham villain vibe.
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Who knows where things go from here. It's about to be a long week below the border many mothers out there. Pun absolutely intended, twice. But T's & P's all the same.
Crazy to think there's some alternate dimension out there where Bonnie never became her final form and stayed in recruiting instead. Holiday office parties with her must have been beyond demented. Whew buddy.
But Galadriel she will stay. Whether you like it or not, 1000 blossoms are gonna bloom with The Queen Of Cum. How's that sound for her comic book villain name? Maybe a little bit too on the nose, but from what I understand that's standard practice for her. Basically a casual Monday morning. And I'm saying that with all due respect.
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Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go take a shower with steel wool, slap on 15 nicotine patches, and yell into void for hours. In the meantime, here's Bonnies SFW escapades from Spring Break last year. For context of what we're dealing with.
Protecting the good mothers of this bad earth isn't easy, but it's necessary.
I hope we saved some lives today raising all this awareness. Thank you for your time.
And to any young men in Cancun, stay frosty out there lads. Don't forget to wrap your ghillie.
Giphy Images.