Genius: The Cardinals Are Attempting To Mask Having One Of The Worst Rosters In Baseball By Offering Fans An Unlimited Concessions Deal

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Going to a baseball game is a blast. It's arguably my favorite activity in the world. I cannot wait to get back to Yankee Stadium once the snow eventually stops in New York so I can spend an afternoon in the sun, have a few adult beverages, and scarf down a couple of hot dogs while watching the boys do their thing. That's happiness. Does it cost me an arm and a leg to do? Oh yeah, but I do it with a smile on my face because that's how much joy baseball gives me, until October rolls around at least. For worse teams though, it's a bit of a harder sell to pack their stadium. You gotta get creative. 

Take the Cardinals for example. This franchise used to be the epitome of consistent success. They could fall out of bed and win 88+ games and contend for a World Series. Now? It's bleak. Their over/under for wins in 2026 is currently set at a miserable. 69.5 Ws. It's crazy what this franchise has turned into. Just as recently as 2022 the Cards won the NL Central with 93 wins. Now it's bad. The roster is barren, with any respectable vets removed from the organization. Top prospect JJ Wetherholt is set to make his MLB debut to start the season, but besides him there's not much to look forward to right now. 

So what did the Cardinals decide to do to get people in the seats? Introducing UNLIMITED CONCESSIONS!   

So how's it work? With your $29 you get a seat in the outfield in Big Mac Land, as well as a wristband which allows you to come up to the stand and snag three items per visit, with unlimited visits allowed. 

(source) The Cardinals on Monday announced Coca-Cola Unlimited, a new ticket option that offers bottomless soft drinks and ballpark eats for the 2026 season. Included in the price, fans get a seat in Big Mac Land and a wristband that allows them to return to the new Unlimited Concession Stand as many times as they want at no additional charge. When fans arrive, they will head to the check-in station near section 265. Fans will choose three of the following items: fountain Coca-Cola products, hot dogs, chicken tenders, bratwurst, nacho chips and cheese, french fries, popcorn, peanuts, kettle chips, ice cream cups 

Once they make their selections, fans will be able to pick up their items from the Unlimited Concession Stand outside section 265. Just show your wristband, grab your items and go. The deal runs from the time gates open until the eighth inning. 

While it feels like they're giving money away, let's revisit their roster quickly. You're going to quickly see that they need to do this shit. 

The pitching is abysmal. 

That's where unlimited concessions comes into play. Bummed out that you're going to the game and Andre Pallante is pitching? Well you don't have to worry about that because we've got unlimited hot dogs, soda, tenders, and popcorn for an affordable price. Maybe you see a few runs scored too if you're lucky, but at least you're going to get your bang for you buck. 

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This team sure as hell will not be competing for a spot in October, so they need to make it count right now. If you're expecting the play on the field to attract fans to the park, you'll be sorely mistaken. If you're trying to entice a family of four to take a day out of their lives and spend it watching the Cardinals you better get creative. Unlimited concessions will work, maybe too well.