The Best Performance At The NFL Combine Was This Majestic Mullet Out Of Iowa OL Gennings Dunker
You might be saying to yourself that it's just a hairstyle. That at the end of the day, it means absolutely nothing as far as actual football is concerned.
And to that, I say you are an absolute fool and a dolt. Because hairstyles are an expression of the soul. Each different hairstyle is demonstrative of that player's character and values. And do you want to know what this mullet out of Iowa OL Gennings Dunker says to me?
This is a man who will do anything for his team. There's nothing he cares about in life more than the fellas in that locker room. If you share a locker room with Gennings Dunker, you are brothers for life. You don't just stumble into a barbershop one day and accidentally walk out of there with a mullet that is more American than a Bald Eagle shotgunning a can of Miller High Life while jamming out to With Arms Wide Open by Creed.
And sure, maybe mullets are getting a little overplayed these days. But there's something special about this one. It's not your traditional Mississippi Top Hat. He's had that more traditional look before.
Matthew Holst. Getty Images.That's pure white trash in the best way possible. But this new style he's rocking at the combine is a little more trailer park.
Stacy Revere. Getty Images.That thing is looking like a damn Davy Crockett hat just permanently stitched to the top of his noggin. That's a mullet that looks like it smells a Pontiac Firebird with cloth interior that has been smoked in for 20 years straight with the windows rolled up. That feathering up top is a type of hair texture you only get if you pronounce the word diabetes as "diabeetus". Special hair for a special player. Here's to hoping he finds his way to playing in Philadelphia to rebuild what was once the most powerful offensive line in football.
