5 Things I Fucking HATE
Kagenmi. Getty Images.I was watching the YAK put on a hater masterclass and I got a little jealous. As I’m sitting back listening to Big Cat saying you’re not a creep if you check a girl out- hit home. Society has gone so soft you take one glance at a girls rack and all of a sudden you’re a creep, fuck outta here. These girls putting out on the gram and in real life for a reason. But that’s not the point of this blog. The point of this blog is for me to talk about weird things that I hate.
1) First on my list is the look people with TSA precheck give you when they cut you in line. Looking at me like I’m some homeless fentanyl addict on the side of the street in Chicago. Don’t fucking look at me, don’t apologize, just keep it moving. We all know you did your gay little interview, and got reimbursed with your big fancy travel credit card and literally anyone with half a brain could also get it in five minutes but choses not to. In fact, instead of apologizing they should be THANKING US. If everyone had TSA pre than TSA pre wouldn’t be a thing!
2) Next up is the fucking dentist who loves to start asking questions after they shove those plastic things in your mouth that spread your mouth wider than Richelle Ryan spreads her ass checks. Followed by that fish hook they throw in the corner of your mouth that sucks you dry like your ex-girlfriend after a couple drinks. Like bro, I can’t talk you are orally fucking me right now. If I’m in pain my body will start spazzing. Please stop with the 21 questions.
3) I also can’t stand barbers that are late. Shit grinds my gears. Nicky Smokes might have a lot of bad qualities but one thing he never is, is late. Probably because I have trauma from my dad drilling being on time into my head since I was kid to the point where now if I’m even five minutes early I am filled with anxiety. Which is why my blood boils when my appointment is set for 10:00AM and I’m not in the chair until 11. Figure it out. Or make an app that gives live updates.
4) This one might be a niche thing, but I can’t stand it when I hear a kid call his mother by her first name. Have a little respect, you spoiled, entitled prick. That woman carried you for 9 months and gives you the world and you have the audacity to call her Stephanie. Shit makes me sick, more kids need the wooden spoon now more than ever.
5) And lastly, these money hungry, scumbag, fan fucking, networks that cut to commercial before showing us a replay of a big play in a game deserve a public stoning. These companies rake in so much fucking money and yet they can’t wait another 30 seconds before they force feed another two minutes of commercials down our throats? Ridiculous. And then they just jump back to the game with no explanation or anything. I hate it.