Petition to Bring The Fabulous Sport of Ski Ballet Back to The Winter Olympics

Now THAT is what the Olympics are all about. Well I guess not ALL about. They should in part be about sports people actually respect. But I don't mind a good chunk of my Olympic events being ridiculous spectacles for the world to enjoy ironically. Did Raygun the Australian break dancer not make for one of the most electric moments of the Paris Summer Olympics?

As a kid I used to believe the Olympics were strictly comprised of the classiest, most prestigious events in the world. As I've grown older, I've come to realize that the Olympics will occasionally just make shit up. This isn't a new thing either. The Olympics didn't only recently get desperate for clicks and throw in break dancing to appease Twitter.

In 1904, the Olympics held an event they called "Plunging". Where competitors would dive into a pool and whoever could remain still underwater the longest without their head surfacing was the winner. Tug of War was in the Olympics for 20 years in the early 1900's. "Horse Long Jump" used to be a real Olympic event. 

Hulton Archive. Getty Images.

Horse Long Jump lasted one year. The gold medal winning horse jumped 6.10 meters, which was nearly 3 meters shorter than the human long jump gold medalist.

At the upcoming 2028 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, both Flag Football and something called "Obstacle"

LA28.org – LA28 will debut Obstacle which features a head-to-head race over a Ninja-style sprint course. Athletes accumulate points in the first three events to determine their starting position for the Laser Run.

So considering all of the ridiculous made-up events the Olympics have featured in the past, and will continue to feature in the future, where the hell do the Winter Olympics get off killing the glorious sport of Ski Ballet.

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That little, "How ya doin?" at the 8-second mark had me hootin' and hollerin'. 

The sport of Ski Ballet (aka Acroski) lasted two Olympics. 1988 in Calgary, and 1992 in Albertville, France. But for some crazy reason, after two years of prominence, the Olympics decided these superior athletes were not worthy of showcasing their talents on the world's biggest stage.

You mean to tell me the Olympics can afford to host 1,000 round robin matches of shuffleboard on ice, but they can't make room for these guys to perform karate on skis?

All that work Conny Kissling and her matador costume did to grow the game, and the Olympics just threw it all away.

It doesn't get much more late 80's - early 90's than that. But I hear the 90's are making a comeback. And if any country is going to bring back the most majestic sport on snow, it's the fabulous French in 2030. 

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It's not too late, France. Bring back ski ballet. Light the World Wide Web on fire. And throw in Skijoring while you're at it.