The Seattle Seahawks Win The Most Pathetic Super Bowl We've Ever Seen

I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to say about that game. That stunk. It stunk so bad. It was such a bad football game. The easy joke to make is that the Patriots were gifted the easiest road to the Super Bowl in NFL history, and proved to the world that they never belonged in the Super Bowl in the first place. But I don't believe that's true. Their defense absolutely belonged. The New England Patriots just gave us one of the better defensive performances you'll ever see in a Super Bowl. 

Unfortunately, they also gave us as disgusting of an offensive performance as you will ever see. Not just for a Super Bowl. But for any football game. On any level. Of all the horrible New England Patriots offensive highlights... of all the "how the fuck is this guy being paid to throw a football" Drake Maye throws... I think the most damning thing about the Patriots performance tonight is the offensive highlights of their opponent.

I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a minute where I really though the Patriots were going to comeback and win. I've been following Dave Portnoy on the internet for a long time. I've seen his teams win so many games in ways don't make a lick of sense. So when Mack Hollins (who before today I was pretty sure was only on the Patriots to wear goofy outfits on the way into the game)

When Mack Hollins brought the game within two scores early in the 4th quarter…

Even after Mike Vrabel elected to kick an extra point to bring the game within 12 (to make it so the Patriots needed two more TD's, instead of a TD + two-point conversion + field goal), I thought they had a chance. I thought the Patriots voodoo magic was going to take over. Especially when they got the ball back and started moving it down field. 

But holy shit… holy shit was I wrong…

Maybe the NFL should go back to rigging games for the Chiefs. I'd rather watch Patrick Mahomes be gifted penalties all game in a nailbiter game than whatever the hell that was. Thanks for coming out Patriots. But damn did you suck tonight.