This Guy Thinks Football Would Be Much Better If Everyone Would Just Quiet Down

It is when reading posts like this that one is reminded of the prescient adage, "Every day, the internet has a main character and your job is to make sure it isn't you."

Matt Bruenig certainly wasn't the main character of the NFL's conference championship weekend, but he made a name for himself with this incredible take that we would all enjoy the game more if the crowds would simply shut up. You know, like how everyone loved sports in 2020 played in front of no fans that we all acknowledge were fake because the game was so materially changed?

This guy hates crowd noise so much, in fact, his blind rage prompted him to make maybe the worst analogy I've ever seen on the internet.

He could have strung together any combination of words in the English language and it would have made as much sense as saying an NFL crowd being loud is the same as heckling a comedian. There isn't another team you are trying to beat at a comedy show or play. You don't have generations of family invested in the outcome of a comedy show or play.

And to give Bruenig the slightest amount of grace, I almost see where he's coming from in a sense. I didn't love seeing the AFC Championship Game devolve into a slopfest because the second half was played in a foot of snow. If every professional stadium had a retractable roof, that would be just fine with me. But I also understand outdoor elements are part of the game, just like going on the road into a hostile environment.

Being able to play those games on your home field is the entire purpose of winning as many games as you can during the regular season. Should we not make teams travel across the country to play, either? That seems like a bit of an advantage for one side, too.

On behalf of all God-fearing, football-loving Americans, I vow to Matt Bruenig that we will never be silenced. Our voices will ring out in stadiums across this nation as long as we are privileged to watch this great game. May the flame that burns within our hearts never be extinguished.

Amen.