Drinking Games You Can Play At Home By Yourself During a Weekend Blizzard

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Editor's Note: Camerman/editor Mac walked up to me today and asked if he could email a blog. I said Mac, for you, anything. He said he has some ideas kicking around in his head and I said sounds good to me, send them on over. So here is Mac's blog:

If your Twitter feed is anything like mine you’ve probably seen that this weekend’s weather forecast calls for 8-15 inches of snow paired with gale-force winds and a high likelihood of staying inside and whacking your rat. If your love life is anything like mine you probably pre-downloaded Fortnite before you left for work this morning and have plans to stop by your local packie for a few dozen pints of the coldest domestic lagers money can buy.  (HARDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

So if you find yourself in either of these predicaments and are currently looking to unwind after a long week, allow me to introduce you to the top 5 drinking games you can play at home by yourself:

1. Turn your favorite video game into a drinking game with vaguely defined rules 

Starting off the list we have perhaps the greatest at-home-drinking-game one can partake in. Imagine this: you’re sitting at your desk, headphones on, perhaps even logged into Discord with a few slightly problematic buddies from college, with a freshly cracked pint sitting eagerly between your mouse and keyboard. You scroll through your Steam library looking at games you purchased years ago, each with less than an hour played and a vague commitment to “come back to it when they add more content.” There’s no time like the present to reopen this sarcophagus of a game and do what those damn developers will never do: add the bonus content yourself. 

Any video game can be turned into a drinking game. Simply find the most commonly repeated event from the game itself and add a “drink when this happens” rule. Here are my favorite examples from previous drinking excursions: 

1. Minecraft: Drink every time you break or place a block. 

2. NBA 2k: Drink every time someone makes a basket. 

3. Madden: Drink every first down & turnover. 

4. COD, Halo, Fornite, any FPS: Drink every time you die. 

5. League of Legends/Dota: Drink every time someone speaks Russian, Peruvian, or says a slur in the chat. 

These are just a jumping off point, and you should add more rules the longer you play if you notice your beer drinking is getting repetitive. If there’s one thing we want, it’s for you to get absolutely shitcanned enjoy a night of creative and responsible drinking. 

2. Turn the night’s biggest sporting event into a blur

It’s Friday evening and the NHL and NBA are in full swing. If you’re primarily a football fan, you need to start having the discussion about what you’re going to be watching once the season ends in a few weeks. There’s no better time to get into what has already been one of the most interesting seasons of the NBA – or if you’re gay, the NHL. 

Similar to the first item on this list, every sporting event can be drunkified in a way that ups the interest of the game while maintaining the integrity of the sport itself. Here are the rules I’ve used for the NBA in the past: 

1. Take a sip every time a bucket is scored 

2. Waterfall your beer during freethrows 

3. Take a shot every time there’s a dunk 

4. Shotgun a beer for every flagrant foul or technical foul 

5. Shoot off an unprompted tweet at LeBron or Draymond Green, just asking them how they’ve been this week and if they’re excited for what a future link up between the two of them could look like in Golden State 

6. Take a drink every time someone dribbles the ball 

Again, just some basic intro rules for you to get started with plenty of room for additions. Sometimes when participating in this game at my apartment, if I notice Jaylen Brown is playing like a pussy reserved MVP candidate and not dunking the ball, I’ll add a drink every time there’s a whistle. This way, you can ensure you’re getting the proper amount of beer in your system to enhance your enjoyment of the pre-all star break load management fest called the National Basketball Association. 

Allow me to make it known that I do not really watch hockey, but if I did, I would probably drink every time there's a successful pass of the puck, or perhaps even an interception of the puck. Fuck, I’d also recommend taking a drink every time the puck crosses half court. Just kidding, I'm not watching hockey.

3. Roomba Pong

One of my all time favorite drinking games that makes you feel like you’re hanging out with a long lost friend who’s come home for the holidays after several DUIs and a failed Catholic rap career. This one is simple: unleash your Roomba (or Roomba alternative) vacuuming robot fucker in the house with a solo cup duct taped atop of it. Grab a pong ball and start shooting that bitch at the Roomba’s chalice. Every missed shot is a sip, every successful shot is a finishing of the pint in hand and the cracking of a new one. 

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This game is fantastic entertainment when you’re stuck inside alone; and if your roommate is home from his remote job with a company you’ve never heard of where he does a job you’re pretty sure doesn’t exist, he can join in on the fun as well. 

4. Twitter Beers 

This is a game that I’ve only played a handful of times, because it has a unique tendency to get you too hammered too fast (an issue for some, an incentive for others.) Basically, the idea behind this one is to scroll through Twitter with a rack of anticipatory pints sitting beside your sofa. Every time you see a tweet that elicits a visceral reaction such as anger, hatred, or disgust, you take a drink. I highly recommend choosing the profile of someone you strongly dislike, such as Barstool Hubbs, so as to intentionally rile you up thus resulting in the rapid consumption of several brews. It’s a dangerous game, but one that you’ll certainly be reflecting on with your face buried in the toilet later that evening. 

5. That Boy Nice Beers 

At this point in the list I must admit that I’m running out of ideas. I thought it would be much easier to come up with ideas that justify getting hammered at home alone. I’ve come to the stark realization that perhaps the best justification is no justification, or perhaps one that lies deeper in the confusing and unimportant nature of human existence. 

Anyways, That Boy Nice Beers. This one is fantastic when in a group of friends, but can be modified to be played at home alone. Basically, what you’re gonna do first is open up early 2010’s highlights of your favorite athlete and start chugging. For me, I tend to default to Julian Edelman career highlights, or legendary “big man plays.” 

Every time a play is made that makes you internally (or externally) say “damn, that boy nice,” you’re going to have to “accidentally” bring that beer up to your lips and “coincidentally” allow some of the beer to flow mellifluously into your gullet. If a play is made on screen that happened to win a big game or someone gets their helmet knocked off or something of extraordinary nature, suck that pint down like you’re a roomba fighting for scraps on the floor of fraternity basement. 

I hope this list enables you to consume beers at an alarming rate, and hopefully provides a bit of enjoyment in an otherwise desolate and frigid weekend. Remember, no one can judge your drinking habits if you’re locked away in your room alone having the time of your life. 

Editor's Grade: This was actually refreshing. Reads exactly like a blog a 23 year old from Boston would write. Definitely some potential here. Unreal shot at Hubbs too.