Let's Look Back Fondly at the Greatest Moment in Texans vs. Patriots History: The Letterman Jacket Game
As you might assume when one of the franchises has only been in existence for 24 years, there aren't volumes of history between the Houston Texans and the Patriots. They've played 15 times in all. Houston has won three of the last four meetings. But during the Pats Dynasty run, the relationship between the two was very much a nail's relationship with a sledgehammer. The first 11 times they played, New England won 10. The only loss coming at the tail end of a lousy 2009 Patriots season (10-6, one and done in the playoffs) season when Matt Schaub played circles around Tom Brady (pause to let you process that) as the Texans scored three touchdowns in the 4th quarter. In the other 10, the Patriots were dominant.
And yet, one of those 15 games stands alone. Not just in the short history between these two teams. But in all the deep, rich lore that is New England sports in this, the Century of the Masshole.
The year was 2012. The week was 14. The night was Monday. The place was Gillette Stadium. The event would go down in history forever as The Letterman Jacket Game. Because this is how the Texans arrived in Foxboro:
You could somewhat understand if the Texans were feelin' it a bit. That team rolled into town an absolute wagon. After 10 years of drafting well, they'd become a powerhouse on both sides of the ball. With Pro Bowl talent at every level, on both sides of the ball. Led by DPOTY JJ Watt, RB Arian Foster, WR Andre Johnson, TE Owen Daniels, Schaub, corner Jonathan Joseph, and center Chris Myers. They were 11-1, winners of six straight. And considered by all to be the new power in the AFC.
Until they weren't.
Until they found out the hard way the Patriots Dynasty wasn't going anyhere any time soon.
The final result was more than just a 42-14 final. It was a Humiliation Ritual. The Texans were flat out bullied. Pants in front of the entire nation. To echo those insufferable State Farm adds, America was expecting this guy in a Letterman Jacket:
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… and they got this guy:
Camerique. Getty Images.The Patriots exposed those Texans for the frauds they were. Paper tigers, who had a flamethrower taken to them. A young team not used to winning who got way out over their skis and wiped out. Permanently as it turned out.
The rest of the 2012 season, they went 2-3. Including another, even worse loss at New England in the playoffs, 41-28. A game that wasn't even that close. The Texans were a Beta Male that had lost a fight to the Alpha who still had the biggest, sharpest horns in the herd, and no one would mate with them after that.
The following year, still wearing the mark of shame those jackets gave them, Houston went 2-14, had the 2nd worst offense and the 24th worst defense in the league, and got coach Gary Kubiak fired 13 games in.
It took them two more years to get back to the playoffs. And the way they returned to respectability just drew a red circle around the humiliation the Pats foisted upon them. The hired Belichick disciple Bill O'Brien. A stark confession to the world they were submitting to the will of their betters. And the Patriots Dynasty would continue for six more seasons, and three more banners.
Let's hope the humiliation continues Sunday. And the Texans once again know when they are conquered.