Kayshon Boutte Comes Clean About His Gambling Problem at LSU and it is a MUST READ

It's been quite a journey for Kayshon Boutte. From a mortal lock to be 1st round draft pick out of LSU to an ankle injury, to coming back by being completely misused by that donkey-brained fraud Brian Kelly to a 6th rounder in New England. Followed by this:

And eventually this:

Which is verifiably true. He finished the season 6th in yard per reception with 16.7. On passes that traveled 20+ air yards, he had a completion % of 71.4, which was 4th highest, and a Pro Football Focus grade of 98.3, which is within the margin of error for being perfect. 

All of which has begged the question of how? How does one go from what looked like a gambling scandal that could land a guy in Club Fed, playing tennis against inside traders and cryptoscammers, to catching missiles from Drake Maye? And Boutte himself is now telling his story. 

It's pretty comprehensive, and I recommend you read the entire thing. It's as blunt and real as it is authentic. Written extemporaneously, just as you'd imagine a Louisiana kid would talk. And most importantly, deeply personal and revealing. With lessons we can all stand to learn. It's next to impossible to do it justice by excerpting it. But for blogging purposes, I'll organize it according to the topics Boutte covers.

His gambling problem:

I knew I was addicted. When you lose, and you’re an addict, there’s this voice in the back of your mind like, No, no, no…… I gotta get my money back. I GOTTA get it back. 

But even when you win, it’s never enough — you aren’t satisfied just winning $1,000. Don’t get me wrong, a bag is nice. But nobody gambles for that kind of money. Gambling is about the dream. Everybody’s dream is to go to the casino and hit for $100K … $300K … $500K. And a lot of gamblers think that if they quit, it would end up being right before their biggest hit, before they would have tripled up on some parlay. 10x, 20x. Why not? That could be me. That’s the mindset that always kept me hanging on. What if I do quit, but one day, I would’ve hit this, and we’da been on a boat somewhere, living off it? …

Nobody was forcing me, I wasn’t being hustled. I didn’t even have nobody to be mad at but myself. I was digging my own grave. Then one day, I shoveled that last little bit of dirt over my head — I had nothing left. I gambled until I was completely broke. When it was all said and done, I put in around $90,000 of my own money, and lost it all. …

At a certain point, when you hit rock bottom, every gambling addict has this moment when you layin’ in bed just seeing $0.00 on the app. And you know that’s your last. And it’s like…….

How the hell did I get here???

His LSU dreams coming true:

I got hurt. That was the first step. Then came the depression and the addiction. But first, I lost my identity.

Football was my first love. I’ve been playing since I was five. I grew up in a small, small town — New Iberia. Really south Louisiana, closer to the water. And where I’m from, everybody grow up watching them LSU boys play. When they offered me my junior year of high school, it was pretty much a wrap. …

And from the season opener on, every Saturday I got the privilege of running through the tunnel beside my teammates.… I would just close my eyes and remind myself: This is my dream. This is my childhood dream. …

I was just having fun. I swear there were moments I felt like I was just a little kid in my school clothes, in the backyard playing. Back when I’d be leaping in the air for balls under the street lights, making like I was Jarvis or OBJ.

What the injury did to him:

After surgery, it was like everything was pissing me off. Riding around on a scooter was frustrating. I couldn’t drive my car. Eventually, I got so fed up trying to adjust to this new life I just said, fuck it, and started walking around with the boot on, which only made things worse. … I had another surgery and did everything the right way this time. But I was still struggling. I wasn’t really able to sleep the way I wanted to. I was in a lot of pain, so they had me taking pills. And a lot comes with that mentally, trying to figure out life without football. I had more free time than I knew what to do with. It’s like a thick cloud was just hanging over my head, keeping me in a funk. I was mad all the time, losing my patience with people. I was doing anything to escape. I started doing drugs. Then I think I sank into a depression.

So how do you escape when none of the escape routes are working?

You start gambling.

His recovery:

[H]onestly, only two things saved me. One was getting healthy enough to play football again. The other was becoming a father, as a junior in college. Nothing wakes you up faster than that. I just looked at myself in the mirror one day and realized, Bruh, the way you living ain’t healthy. And if I’m being honest, I think there was probably a little bit of shame to that realization, too. Growing up, my dad was a real hard-working dude, doing offshore, blue collar work — getting up at 5 or 6 a.m. I didn’t really come from a rich household, but anything we wanted, my parents made it happen. And I wanted to be that for my family. 

Having a kid coming into the world, I think that’s when I started taking my mental health more seriously, and things got better for me.

The Patriots:

I still wasn’t 100% physically. But by the grace of God, I made it to the NFL. By the grace of God, New England saw potential in me. …

My rookie year had a lot of ups and downs, though. It didn’t exactly pan out the way it was supposed to. Being real, I think New England is just a tough spot to land for a rookie. A lot of vets will say it, too. There’s history here, and that comes with big expectations. … [Belichick] wasn’t going for no bullshit — when we in between them white lines, it’s just straight football. And what he says goes. At first, I didn’t understand him, but I think as time went on, I actually did. It’s tough love. He could be harsh at times, but I always thought it was for a good reason.

And I owe the Patriots organization everything, because after the season ended, my past came back on me. I had to deal with the gambling stuff resurfacing. …

How many of those 32 teams would’ve just walked away at that point? Especially from a sixth-round pick. But the organization knew my heart, and they stuck by me. …

Now, I look at where I am. Because the Pats trusted me to grow, I’m in my third year, just helping this team get back to its winning ways. Man, we about to have a playoff game in Foxborough for the first time in 6 years. Last time that happened, I was still in high school!!! …

What it means, knowing that we got No. 10. We got a QB in Drake who’s gonna make a play regardless. He’s the leader of our team, and we believe in him fully, and everything that he can do. If you a receiver, you love him. Every dog want the bone, as they say. We all want 10 targets a game, but there are five eligible receivers, and only one ball. One thing about Drake, he doesn’t force-feed the ball to one dude — he’s not looking for WR1. He’s getting the ball to any and everybody.

What it means, knowing that we got a coaching staff we wanna play for. The vibes in the building feel different this year — they feel amazing, actually. They the real minds behind the culture we’re building. A culture where we lost Week 3 versus the Steelers and went on to win 10 straight, you feel me? I think a lot of people turn on the TV, see the games, talk about the connections, the throws, the time in the pocket, things like that. But one big thing I would say a lot of people overlook is the effort we put in, day-in, day-out, in order for that to happen on Sunday. It’s not magic. It’s practice and effort. And when you practice the way we do, when you’re between the white lines, it’s not just straight football — it’s fun. I remember against Buffalo, in Week 15, Drake ran the ball in, faked like he was about to dunk it, then handed it to an O-lineman, who spiked it. Hahah. In a moment like that, we feel like we little kids again in the backyard, just playing the game we love. I remember running back to the sideline and telling my receivers coach, Todd Downing, “Man, it just feels so damn good to be out here celebrating with your teammates.” Everybody don’t get to do it.

And above all, the lessons we should all takeaway from Boutte's lived experience:

So if I have a message for the football world, I guess it’s this: Don’t give up on these kids, man. I know there’s more stories like mine out there. Betting is just gonna keep getting bigger and bigger. Gambling is what it is. I’m not here to preach. It’s going to exist. But people who are in a dark place, they’re gonna use it to escape. Athletes, especially. I’m telling you, because I lived it. …

The next time you see a headline about a gambling story, and somebody going down for it….. Just remember that there’s a person behind that headline. When you ask yourself, “How could they do something like that? How could they risk it all? What were they thinking?”

The sad part is, they weren’t thinking. They were going through something. Don’t give up on them. 

Maybe they just need some help.

Since Boutte is being totally honest here, so will I. As I read, and now reread this piece, he took me on an emotional journey here. I was walking on sunshine hearing this stuff about how positive things have been around the football team this year. I've written about how I could sense it as far back as Day 1 of training camp. And those vibes he mentioned certainly seemed to be playing out in real time on game days. And it's great to know we haven't been wrong on that. Mike Vrabel said from the opening remarks of his first presser that he wanted to establish the right culture. And here's your proof he succeeded. 

But that's just the fanboy in me talking. The real through all of this is the life lesson he's imparting. The whole point of the column.

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Empathy.

Boutte is right. He's the rightest anyone has ever been. We all read headlines and forget there's a genuine fellow human behind it. Someone who could very well be a good person trying to do the right thing, but are struggling with personal they haven't yet been able to slay. We all tend to hear part of a story like his and default to "What a dumb fuck! How could anyone be so stupid?" I'll raise my hand and admit sometimes it's an essential part of my job. It's hard doing comedy where you're not ridiculing somebody. Jokes are often cruel. And not at all how my Lord and Savior would want me conducting my business. But that's comedy for you. It's why kings kept Court Jesters around to deliver bad news that would've gotten somebody else tossed in the dungeon. 

So for anyone struggling with their own addictions, whether it's gambling or anything else, I hope you'll take the time to read the entire peace and that it helps you in some way. His description of how gambling addicts chase that high is the best I've ever read. Even better than when Norm MacDonald used to open up about his problems with it. Like a lot of aspects of living in a free country, done right, it's a fun diversion. Done wrong, to excess, or illegally, it can take over your life and destroy you, like it was doing to an immature, underaged Kayshon Boutte, still trying to figure his life out. 

So heed the warning. And celebrate that a terrifically talented, decent guy like Boutte got himself sorted out and is providing a great life for his family.  Remember to wager responsibly. Need help? 1-800-GAMBLER.