60 Days Soft (No Sex, No Cranks) Has Begun

Napoletana. Getty Images.

Sometimes you find the cover photo for the blog, and sometimes it finds you. I figured searching “lotion” would get me where I wanted, but instead I ended up with a girl holding two breast implants. Honestly? Works for me.

It’s that time of year when the hangover from Christmas through New Year’s finally wears off and I convince myself it’s time to fix everything that’s wrong with me or at least some of it. Last year, that meant 75 Hard, which I genuinely needed because I was a fat slob. Looking back, though, working out twice a day and not drinking wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be.

So this year I wanted a bigger challenge. Something that would push me to the brink of death.

Not using my dick.

In 2026, I’ll be attempting to go 60 days soft. No cranking. No fucking. Nothing. None of my coworkers think I can do it, and I don’t blame them—I don’t think I can do it either. But I’m going to try. If I can control my sexual urges and testosterone for 60 days, then theoretically there’s nothing I can’t do.

That said, I’m already in trouble.

The amount of lust I’m subjected to on Twitter is insane, and it’s entirely my fault because I refuse to block the accounts that flood my timeline. After I posted about this challenge, I was informed that Robbie Fox tried something similar and ended up nutting in his sleep, which, in my opinion, doesn’t count. As long as I’m not consciously initiating the nut, it doesn’t count. That’s just science.

I asked him if he had any advice. He simply said, “Good luck.”

So here we go. I’ll either break this week, or I’ll be an oil rig for the entire month of March.

Wish me luck.