Justin Bieber Threatens To Put Every Apple Employee In A "Rear Naked Choke Hold" If They Don't Fix The Voice Record Button On The iPhone

Friends, I am not going to lie...I am all for this. The "diction button" is the single most annoying feature on the iPhone and it's not even close. Half the time you don't even hit it. It just blows your ear drums out without warning and starts recording. Then you have scramble to shut it off before whatever fucked up conversation you were having gets sent into the ethos. It's infuriating. I've been wanting to file a complaint, but I didn't know where to start. Thank god for the Biebs. This is exactly the type of thing celebrities should be using their voice for. Fuck geopolitics, I want my pop stars fixing the problem in my pocket, not one that exists 4000 miles away. 

So yeah, if I see JB choking someone out in the Apple store, I'm turning my head the other way. Tim Cook should be shaking in his boots right now. Get it together, queen. You've got a piece of technology that can launch a rocket, but you can't figure out how to fix the diction feature? Child please...

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I want this resolved by Christmas. Thanks in advance.