Tomorrow Marks President Donald Trump's Most Important Role to Date – Rigging The World Cup Draw For The United States
More than the NBA Draft lottery... more than the College Football Playoffs... I don't think there's ever been something more riggable than the FIFA World Cup. Any time I see the name FIFA, I assume whatever it is I'm looking at is littered with corruption and scandal. The president of FIFA was once caught taking an estimated $150 MILLION in bribes to influence sponsorships, along with the World Cup selection process. We held the last World Cup in Qatar for christ sakes. The U.S. Department of Justice has straight up came out and said there was foul play involved.
NY Times – U.S. prosecutors on Monday explicitly revealed details about money paid to five members of FIFA's top board ahead of the 2010 vote to choose Russia and Water as hosts. Russia defeated England and joint bids from Holland-Belgium and Spain-Portugal to his the 2018 men's tournament. Qatar, a tiny desert state that has spent billions fo dollars to prepare for the 2022 World Cup, defeated the United States in a runoff by a group of voters that had already been trimmed because two members had been secretly filmed agreeing to sell their votes.
Nobody has ever been more for sale than whoever is in charge of FIFA at any given time.
Next year, the 2026 World Cup will be held in the United States (technically Canada and Mexico too... but please... it's our World Cup). This year, there are more teams in the World Cup than ever. 48 teams will be split into 12 groups of 4. Which means there are going to be some stinkers in there. A lot of country's who stink. At soccer. Not... well... never mind.
Tomorrow is the official 2026 World Cup Group Draw Hosted by Kevin Hart (seriously). Andrea Bocelli will be performing. The draw will be conducted by a Manchester United player named Rio Ferdinand... who will be joined by Tom Brady, Wayne Gretzky, Aaron Judge, and Shaq. It's a whole ass thing. But most importantly, United States President Donald Trump will be in attendance. He's expected to give a speech. At the end of the draw, the Village People will bless the stage with a performance of the YMCA. I'm not making a lick of this up.
FIFA will also be awarding a their fist ever 'FIFA Peace Prize'. People are pretty sure Trump will be winning that as well.
If you asked FIFA, "Will Donald Trump have any hand in the actual drawing of teams?" I'm sure they'll say no. But let's be real. Donald Trump is going to be as involved as FIFA will let him. He's going to make it a personal challenge to see how much he can throw his weight around the FIFA community tomorrow afternoon. Even if it's just for fun.
The United States already comes into this World Cup with a massive advantage. Beyond playing their games on North American soil, as a host country, the United States is given the World Cup equivalent of a 1-seed. Each group of 4 will include one team from each "pot". The pots are divided up by international rankings (see Wikipedia graphic below).
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Here's my proposal, Mr. President. In the name of world peace, what better way to honor… peace… than with a group featuring the United States (Pot 1), Iran (Pot 2), Saudi Arabia (Pot 3), and in Pot 4… I'm looking at Jordan, who's firmly in the field. But as you can see, there's still 6 spots in Pot 4 that haven't been decided yet. Guess which pathway I'm looking at.
Group D: United States, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Iraq. It's still a fair draw. It features teams from every pot. If Donald Trump gets up at the podium and simply states this these will be the teams playing in the United States group, because a show of peace and love with the Middle East is SO MUCH more important to the world than a silly little soccer tournament. A group of countries historically at each other's throats, coming together in the spirit of competition. There might be never be war again. And if he can find it in his heart to allow Iranian fans into his country for the games…
Hell, they might give him two FIFA Peace Prizes if he pulls that off. And if Bolivia or Suriname happens to take Iraq's spot… whatever. We'll diffuse that bomb when we get to it.
That's just an idea, Donald. You obviously know your way around these rooms better than I. But you gotta do something. Because if you don't get in there and get your hands dirty tomorrow, some other country 100% will.