Michigan Is Somehow Being Bigger Pussies About The Game This Year Than The Time They Forfeited And Blamed The Sniffles

So let me get this straight. Donovan Edwards says there is no hatred in the rivalry and that the two teams genuinely care about each other. Will Johnson is sitting out of his last game against Ohio State because he's nervous about his draft stock falling after getting torched by Jeremiah Smith of a stubbed toe. And Dave Portnoy cancelled the annual College Football Show / livestream. Am I taking crazy pills here or are these Michigan Men being bigger pussies than the time they cancelled The Game and blamed it on having the sniffles?

To be clear: I don't agree with any of the three culprits that appear to be doing their best to give other rivalries great arguments as to why they're better and more intense than ours. Genuinely care for each other?? Toe injury?? This year doesn't matter?? Bo and Woody are turning over in their graves right now. My stance on Michigan is that I genuinely hate any single person who wears those colors. Men, women, children, elderly, and sick. Doesn't matter. And it would take nothing short of my own death for me to miss the game tomorrow. And even then, I think I'd ask my dad to cremate me before kickoff so he could sneak me in.