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True Love: Former Arsenal Star Nicolas Pépé Sends Soccer World Spiraling After Romance With Teanna Trump Becomes Public

Soccer is admittedly the one sport where I don't have my ear to the ground. My brain can only follow so many sports intensely that sacrifices have to be made some times. I'm clueless when it comes to the pitch. For instance, I went to London a few weeks ago for an extended weekend and was flabbergasted when I learned that most EPL games aren't televised in the pubs in an effort to get fans to go to games. I expected to walk into a bar on Saturday afternoon with every game going off at once. Not the case at all. As an American who is used to the polar opposite, it stopped me in my tracks, but to the standard soccer fan this wouldn't be a shock at all I suppose. Everyone just sits at home on Saturdays and cranks up methstreams to watch their favorite teams. Crazy. 

So yeah, not a footie fan. As a result Nicolas Pepe is not someone I knew even existed before yesterday, but now I'm fully aware of his tomfoolery. Pepe signed a big deal with Arsenal years back and was a total bust. I'm not entirely sure "star" is worthy of attaching to his name, but I did see his transfer fee was a record so that's gotta mean something. Now he's moved onto Villarreal and is busting elsewhere.  Sorry that was terrible. What I mean is he's apparently dating porn star Teanna Trump!

Turns out this has been going on for a little while. Internet sleuths deducted this was happening a few months ago when they spotted for FRONT ROW at one of his press conferences. I can't even begin to comprehend how you spot this. This is Meek Phil horny level awareness. 

She's also been going to a bunch of his games it looks like. A true fan! 

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Naturally the soccer world has lost their collective minds. I see no problem however. If they're happy together, let them be! Teanna is much more than the actress you think of. She's got many talents, one shown below here. 

She also used to dabble in construction management I believe. You can look that one up in your private browser. 

Look, Pepe needed a fresh start after his departure from Arsenal. Maybe Villarreal and Teanna can give him that? When in doubt, choose love. 

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P.S. I wonder if she ever got paid by that Thunder player 

P.P.S. Researching this blog has likely ruined my Twitter algorithm for weeks.