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Malachi Corley Bragging About His 200+ Career TDs After the Dumbest Play of 2024 is One Hell of a Flex

Take if from your Life Coach, Old Balls. One of the trickiest things you'll ever face in this life is being the New Guy at your workplace. I've not only had a lot of jobs, I can comfortably say I've had more careers than anyone I've ever met. And regardless of where you work or what the job is, those first few days are a balancing act. On the one hand, you've got to demonstrate competence enough to earn everyone's trust. But at the same time, you can't appear to come across as a know-it-all and convince them you're an arrogant poser. You only get one chance to make a first impression. And you want to establish a reason for them to have confidence in you, without appearing too self-confident. That's my free advice that's worth exactly what you paid for it. 

Which brings us to Jets rookie Malachi Corley, who had this to say about the most egregious display of careless dumbassery in the NFL in 2024:

Yeah ... about that. When it comes to achieving that tricky balance between Confidence and Over-Confidence, I'd say Over-Confidence just swept all the swing state, won the general election and Electoral College and will control both houses of Congress. 

I mean, imagine being Aaron Rodgers, Davante Adams or Quinnen Williams. Some veteran who's been around the league awhile, played at a high level, sacrificed your health and risked your well-being trying to achieve greatness in this league. And a first-year guy with 14 career snaps and 2 receptions responds to locking up the NFL's Brain Shart of the Year Award by reminding everyone he knows what he's doing around the goal line. Why? Because of all those touchdowns he racked up for the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers and Campbellsville High School. Or possibly in Pop Warner; he didn't elaborate. 

This is the NFL equivalent of a shoe salesman bragging about scoring four touchdowns in a single game at Polk High to distract from his life of existential despair. 

No, it's worse than that. At least Al Bundy recognized how he'd failed at life. This is more like a rookie surgeon losing a patient on the operating table and during the malpractice lawsuit talking about how good he was at slicing up cadavers in med school. Corley is a pilot who crashed his plane into the side of a mountain and telling the FAA inquest they should look at his scores in the flight simulators. He's a football blogger running out of analogies and just referring back to the three he already used and moving onto the next paragraph. 

If I was advising Malachi Corley, and I guess I am, I'd recommend that now is not the time to be displaying confidence; it's the time for humility. For contrition. Not using phrases like, "relishing the moment as much as the entire Met Life was." Or claiming there's nothing you can learn from the moment, because you already possess all the knowledge in the universe about how to score touchdowns. Rather, admit you fucked up. Royally. And pledge it won't happen again. Because like the best coaches have been preaching since the Almighty invented the game, when you're holding the football, you have the fate of the entire team in your hands. 

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I just can't see any way this guy dresses Sunday at Arizona. It's a situation screaming out for making an example of young player in desperate need of being taught a lesson. On the other hand, giving who he plays for, he'll probably be made a captain and be out there for the coin toss. The Jets are never going to stop Jetsing.