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Call of The Year in College Soccer: Stanford Walks Off Notre Dame With The Rare Midfield Buzzer Beater, Sending The Announcer Into Orgasm

Take that Europe. Take that South America. Your stupid upwards counting clock could never realize the glory of the half court soccer buzzer beater. You thought stretching out the word 'goaaaaaal' into 30-seconds was the most electric call in sports. Well this lowly ESPN college soccer announcer just put the greatest commentators in the world on notice with his signature-orgasm heart attack call at 12 AM EST on the ACC Network. That's America baby. That's soccer.

I'm sure Notre Dame's goalie has been staring blankly at his hotel room ceiling for the past 10+ hours. Just visualizing that ball coming towards him in slow motion. Thinking about how if he didn't have such dainty wrists, or had he simply made his hands into fists, that ball probably bounces off his knuckles and Notre Dame leaves Stanford with a boring, nothing tie that nobody in the world would have ever knew happened. According to the scoreboard, Notre Dame had just scored to tie it up in the 89th minute too. Damn. He was probably mentally checked out already. Already counting his teams point.

"Well this one's over. Certainly this game won't end with the most embarrassing, most viral moment of my entire life" - him probably

On the bright side for Notre Dame goalie, nobody knows his name still. I won't bother to look it up either. And luckily for him, the announcer's dick gargling goal call does take a bit of the attention away from his disastrous blunder. Thank god he plays soccer in America, and not football/futbol in a country where his fan base would stab him in the parking lot. Or even worse, sing a clever song to the tune of a popular nursery rhyme about how much he stinks in net.

If I'm playing Notre Dame next game, I'm opening the first half with a crack at goal from midfield. Then maybe a few more throughout the game. Just to make him think about it again. Just too keep his past incompetence at the forefront of his mind. Put his yips to the test.

Congrats on the big Atlantic Coast Conference win Stanford, California.