Manchester United Is More Likely to Be Relegated Than Win the League in the Coming Years

Look, I get it—Manchester United is a big club. But let’s be honest: they’re more likely to end up in a relegation scrap than they are lifting the Premier League trophy anytime soon. Remember when United used to terrorize teams? Now they look more like they’re the laughing stock of the league. Thank God I don't support that sorry ass club because the Dolphins alone are already killing me. 

You’d think with all the money they’ve thrown around in recent years, they’d have at least some idea of what they’re doing. But nope—every transfer window feels like they’re just playing a game of FIFA Career Mode with no budget restrictions. Who cares if the players fit the system (wait, what system?) as long as they’re big names, right?

It’s almost impressive how consistently United manages to underachieve. One minute, their fans are screaming, “This is our year!”—the next, they’re watching Tottenham blow their back out at Old Trafford while some guy on Twitter is running a “#TenHagOut” campaign. It’s a cycle that’s become more reliable than the sun rising in the morning.

But here’s the kicker (you like that shit? great pun by me): United’s closest rivals aren’t the top dogs like City or Liverpool. Nope, it’s the Burnleys and the Evertons of the league, who are just dying to drag them down to their level. Don’t get me wrong, United’s not actually getting relegated (probably), but if they keep sleepwalking through seasons like they’ve been doing, I wouldn’t put it past them to start flirting with the bottom half of the table.

Winning the league? Please. At this rate, they should just focus on making sure they don’t end up swapping places with Luton Town. Hey, at least there, they might have a shot at being the big fish in a small pond!

For more talk on the Premier League check out the latest episode of Pitch Picks