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The NFL Better Drug Test The Shit Out Of Christian McCaffrey Whenever He Returns From Germany With His Achilles Magically Healed

Ryan Kang. Getty Images.

I mean what are we even doing here? How does news get out about Christian McCaffrey going to see a specialist in Germany for his injury and everyone just reacts as if that's a totally normal thing to do. 

Uhhhhh have you guys ever seen any movie ever? Nobody is just going over to Germany to get a 2nd opinion. You go to Germany if you need a doctor to put an infinity stone in your achilles that gives you the ability to run so fast that you split the fabric of time. 

I don't know, man. Maybe I have too much faith in American doctors. I feel like there's gotta be someone here who can give him the answers he's looking for. Maybe not the drugs or results he's looking for, but can at least tell him what's going on with his achilles. You're not getting on a 13-hour flight from San Francisco to Berlin unless you're about to have some shady procedure go down. 

There's a lot of chaos going on in the NFL right now. A lot of big upsets, a lot of bad football being played, a lot of suspect officiating. There's so much going on right now that it would be easy for Christian McCaffrey going to see a specialist in Germany to fly under the radar. I simply will not allow that to be the case. If this man gets back from Germany and is immediately ready to go, there better damn well be a plastic cup waiting under his dick for the next time he takes a piss. 

@JordieBarstool