Not Only is Billy Napier Incapable Of Doing His Job, But He Also Thinks There Are Basements In Florida

Listen, it's one thing to get your back blown out like an amateur making her debut on the first page of Pornhub by an in-state rival, turning your players into real life Simpsons memes and losing recruits the way I steal fit birds from an ugly dude's table.

But, my God, it's another level of humiliation to be such a clueless idiot. As someone who identifies as "on the spectrum," I'm fighting every fiber of my being not to pull a Chris Broussard and say what Chris calls his "cousin."

It's bad enough to take a once-great program, one that consistently competed in New Year's Six bowl games and SEC Championship games, and turn them into the laughingstock of the state. Actually, scratch that—FSU holds that title. Holy fuck, those boys are so bad they make the skinny white chick who used to make my double chocolate chip frappe at Starbucks look like Kim Kardashian. 

But back to the brain-dead homosapien we have as a head coach: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA FOR THREE YEARS AND THINK THERE ARE BASEMENTS HERE?!

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I may be as dumb as the next dude on the short bus, but even I know there are no basements in Florida. It is literally IMPOSSIBLE for the kids you coach to be worried about what people in their "basements" of rural central Florida think because THEY DO NOT EXIST.

FUCK, I HATE THIS TEAM.