Matt Leinart And His Wife Logged Onto Twitter To Casually Dunk On Parents Around The World

Hand up, Matt Leinart got my ass. During the beginning of that video, I was clenching my fists and thinking of ways I could hypothetically kill him for rubbing his perfect life in my face. Beautiful wife, sick house, traditionally handsome face, sweet job, with a sturdy family serving as the foundation to all of it.

However, that all changed as the glorious autotuned-enhanced sounds of T-Pain's voice dropped from the heavens as they showed off their sonogram picture. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for the Leinarts and their little growing bundle of joy. But every time I hear a parent just found out they were having another kid right as they made it through The Suck stage of parenting, this sound instantly plays in my head.

Goodbye date nights and reality TV binges, hello mustard poops that shoots out the side of diapers and so little sleep that you feel like you are living in a drugged up fog! I personally ensured that I will never have to deal with that nonsense again by having a doctor literally cut open my balls and singe my vas deferens as I was awake. But I guess to each their own, so congrats to the Leinarts!

P.S. Ironically it took me an extra 20 minutes to write this blog because my kids are off from camp and were constantly bothering me while I tried to string together a few poorly crafted sentences while Matt is probably figuring out which nanny he will pay double my salary to handle all the worst parts of being a new parent while I continue to shlub my way through life. So not surprisingly I think it's safe to say Matt Leinart will always have it better than me, no matter how little fun he is having in 9 months.