2024 Takie Awards Cheat Sheet ft. All Award Winners And Nominees (SPOILER WARNING)
Folks, the wait is over. Welcome to the 9th annual "Takie Awards." Every summer, the Pardon My Take crew reflects on the year in sports and entertainment and hands out the best awards in the world: The Takies. Below, you'll find a list of each award, nominee, and winner, so be sure to avoid scrolling if you haven't watched/listened yet...
SPOILER WARNING!
1. Take of the Year - "The Derrick White trade is a disaster" from Neil Iyer, Desmond Ridder saying he's not leaving Atlanta until he wins a Super Bowl, John Calipari saying Kentucky is built for March, Mason Dodd saying Puka Nacua has no upside, Dan Orlovsky thinking Mac Jones will win a Super Bowl with the Patriots and Jones being the best rookie QB he's ever seen, and many more
2. Lib of the Year - Jersey Jerry, Billy Football, Chris Long, Travis Kelce
3. Death of the Year - OJ Simpson, Richard Simmons, Toby Keith, Matthew Perry
4. Lighthouse of the Year - "The Lighthouse" book, Cape Hateras Lighthouse, Old Gillette Lighthouse, New Gillette Lighthouse
5. Viral Woman Of The Year - Oilers Girl, Hawk Tuah, Adam 22’s wife Lena the Plug, Chargers fan
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6. Joe of the Year - Joe Mazzulla, Joe Biden, JoJo Siwa, Joel Embiid
7. Girlfriend of the Year - Taylor Swift, Kyle Filipowski's girlfriend, Jake Browning’s girlfriend
8. Dom of the Year - Big Dom, Dom of the Year, Max’s nephew, Taylor Swift
9. Italian of the Year - Tommy DeVito, Big Dom, Sean Stellato, Caitlin Clark
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10. Why Didn’t They Put A Man On That Shooter of the Year - Jack Gohlke, Trump's attempted assasin, Dante DiVincenzo, Payton Pritchard
11. Still Alive Person of the Year - Jimmy Carter, Joe Biden, Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell
12. Scout of the Year - Connor Stallions, Tony Scheffler’s Cat, Anonymous Scout Quotes
13. Gambler of the Year - Shohei's interpreter, Shohei Ohtani, Jontay Porter, Dave Portnoy, All the Lions
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14. Startup of the Year - Darren Rovell's Cl*t
15. Plane Passenger of the Year, Tiffany Gomas, Max Dolente, Guy pissing on the plane
16. Partnership of the Year - LIV/PGA, Hank and Tiffany, Hank and Max in Mt Rushmore season, Hank and Joe Mazzulla Hank and Golf, Hank and Gravity
17. Ratio of the Year - Jonathan Ross saying AI will displace social drinking within 5 years, a tweet saying "The flex I like to see" of a kid reading 1000 books before kindergarten, Barstool Celtics fans celebrating a Celtics championship, anonymous person demanding a Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce sex tape, tweet about Keanu Reeves sh*tting himself
Winner: anonymous person
18. WNBA Rookie of the Year - Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese, Cameron Brink
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19. Ruthkwanda Forever Of The Year - Kid crying about Joe Biden dropping out and Kamala replacing her, Kid talking about the Presidential Debate, Rebecca Hazelton on everyone dying
20. 17th Best Quarterback of the Year - Dak Prescott, Kirk Cousins, Deshaun Watson, Gardner MInshew, Geno Smith
21. Best 4 Win Team of the Year Colorado 4-8, Patriots, Commanders, Cardinals
22. Buyout of the Year - Jimbo FIsher, Russell Wilson, Monty Williams
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23. Can't Win The Big One of the Year - Connor McDavid, Caitlin Clark, Rory McIlroy, Lamar Jackson, Max lottery ball, Joel Embiid
24. Sexiest NFL Fan of the Year - Stavros Halkias, Taylor Swift, Sprinkles, Jake Browning’s Girlfriend
25. Florio of the Year - Mike Florio, Dianna Russini, Matt Miller, Dan Graziano
26. Coach of the Year - JJ Redick, Joe Mazzulla, Jim Harbaugh, Andy Reid
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27. Play of the Year - Kelce to Toney, Bronny bricking a 10-footer, Argentina game-winner in COPA, Mac Jones INT, Jalen Carter near INT on a spike
Winner: AWL's will vote
28. Preemptive Take of the Year - Memes: the 76ers will implode and Joel Embiid forces himself to the Knicks, Max: the 76ers will succeed with Paul George, Embiid is ECF MVP, Huey: WNBA Finals will be the 3rd most watched sport in the fall, Shane: Gus Edwards will lead NFL in rushing TD's, PFT: Taylor and Travis will get engaged and the Swifties will turn on her after she drops a new album, Big Cat: Hank will dunk… NOT, Hank: Patriots will have more or equal wins than Commanders and Bears combined
Winner: TBD
29. Blake of the Year - Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles, Brooks Koepka
30. Podcast Listeners of the Year - Hardcore Historians, Politickin' fans, Pardon My Take AWL's
