Fuck A Dentist

Let me fill you in on a little secret. The two biggest scams in this country are health insurance and the dentist. I worked in health insurance, and the system is corrupt beyond belief. If you don't have money, good luck finding a doctor or a facility that will give a shit about you. The dentist, on the other hand, is just an absolute prick. Every time I go to the dentist, I walk out of there like Jon Jones kicked me in my fucking mouth. There's blood all over the place, needles continuously poking my gums, and worst of all, they wire your mouth open like you're at the OBGYN. 

I have a dick, so I've never been to the OBGYN, but I've heard stories about this clasp they use to open the flower up, and that's what it feels like when I'm at the dentist. All alone, with my mouth wide open, just waiting for them to stick whatever they want in my mouth. (no diddy)

I'm not afraid to call a spade a spade. My dental hygiene was not great from ages 13-20. I brushed my teeth every day, but I'll be the first to admit I didn't floss. With that being said, I've been on my shit the last four years of my life, and maybe the damage was already done. But to sit here and tell me I have NINE cavities with a straight face is INSANE. Who knows, maybe they're right, but I can tell you one thing right now: I am not greasing this dentist's pockets after one appointment. 

I couldn't believe the prices and how little my dental insurance actually covered. I was basically maxed out by the time I got four cavities filled. So, I decided to dive into how dentists get paid, and I was surprised, to say the least. I always thought dentists got a set salary. Turns out these fucks are basically glorified salesmen. They get paid based on producing and collecting. 

Let's say a dentist produces $100,000 worth of work in a month but only collects $80,000 of it. They will make whatever percentage they agreed on in their contract off of that amount. For example, if they agreed to make 30% off of everything collected, that dentist would make $24,000 that month. 

This is sales 101: sell as much as you can, collect as much as possible, and sell your debt to a debt collector to minimize the losses. It's fucking insane. Whether it's medical, dental, or any other type of healthcare, the patient should not be looked at as a dollar sign. I'm not a fucking socialist. We all get our teeth kicked in with taxes and get nothing out of it. If you add up the amount of taxes we pay, not only on our paychecks but on a day-to-day basis, we're probably not far off from countries that take 35-40% of their citizens' paychecks but at least they actually get to use their benefits. 

I don't know. That's my ted talk for the day, thanks for listening.