The Lead Investigator Who Searched Karen Read's Phone for Nudes and Called Her a 'C*nt' with a 'Leaky Balloon Knot' Has Been Relieved of Duty for Some Reason

Since I hastily threw an instant reaction post about the stunningly dissatisfying hung jury in the Karen Read homicide trial yesterday:

... the worst finale to a long-running drama since LOST, there have been two updates. 

First, as expected, the Commonwealth has confirmed they will be retrying the case. So brace yourself for a sequel that will have a hard time living up to the hype of the original, but might be able to make up for that terrible ending.

Second, there are still story threads being explored in the Karen Read Murder Trial Cinematic Universe. The most recent involving the main villain. Massachusetts State Trooper Michael Proctor, the lead investigator and Thanos of this epic saga, has been relieved of duty. Which doesn't necessarily mean what it sounds like:

Source - “Upon learning today’s result, the Department took immediate action to relieve Trooper Michael Proctor of duty and formally transfer him out of the Norfolk County District Attorney’s Office State Police Detective’s Unit,” State Police Colonel John Mawn said in a statement. “This follows our previous decision to open an internal affairs investigation after information about serious misconduct emerged in testimony at the trial.”

Boston 25 has learned that Trooper Proctor’s last day with the Norfolk County District Attorney’s office will be on July 7. …

An internal affairs investigation into Trooper Proctor’s alleged misconduct is ongoing, according to Mawn.

Proctor will face a duty status hearing where officials will determine how to proceed with his employment.

Although he is still employed by the department, he can no longer work cases or function as a trooper during this time, according to authorities.

Facing an internal affairs investigation, getting stripped of all your author-it-ay:

Giphy Images.

… and possibly your career is going over in the Proctor house as well as you'd expect. Ordinarily I'm no fan of the Ambush School of Journalism. But I have to include this here to further make the case that every aspect of this trial has been a parody of some other part. Every slice of this is a satire pizza with irony-stuffed crust. Because the very words Proctor used on this local reporter:


… are the ones Proctor's friends the Albert family used to piss off John O'Keefe. Now who's the Nebbercracker?

So how did Trooper Proctor go from leading the investigation into the homicide of a Boston Police officer to getting chased down in his driveway by some local TV reporter like some school principal caught with porn on his computer? Let's have him explain it with his own words:


Here's some of what I wrote as Proctor testified:

"Whack job. Cunt. Is she hot at least? Yes. She's a babe. Weird Fall River accent, though. No ass though. Nutbag, as Chief would say." Kudos to Judge Beverly Cannone (Full disclosure: I worked with her a few times but never had any kind of a working relationship with her to speak of) for not letting Proctor wriggle off the hook with his "C-U-N-T" attempt. She's taking a lot of grief online from those who think she's been too favorable to the ADA, but "These are your words, Trooper Proctor?" was a deft touch. You said it. Own it. 

I'll remind you once again since it bears repeating, this is the Commonwealth presenting its case. Trying to convince the jury to find Karen Read guilty of murdering her boyfriend. By, I guess, trying to get out ahead of this terrible look before the defense does. To maybe take all the shock value out of it so it doesn't land with the jurors when it comes up on cross.

Yeah. Good luck with that.

--Even if you're cool with calling someone a cunt and judging them by their ass - both in terms of form and function - in the performance of your professional duties and your text threads are filled with vicious, catty shit (honestly, who's isn't?), there's got to be some sort of HIPAA violation here. A State Police trooper can't just go around texting everyone he knows about a Person of Interest in his investigation having problems with her poo:

To be clear, neither I nor you grew up in some idyllic, Disney Channel family sitcom house where no one ever uses cuss words or speaks harshly about another human being. Nor are we under the illusion law enforcement officers don't talk shit about their murder suspects. Still, this is all a terrible look when you came into this with a broad public suspicion that this investigation was not on the level. With very plausible theories that John O'Keefe went into the Alberts' home where a fight broke out, he was attacked by the family dog, then dragged to the front yard and left for dead. 

But we must not let Proctor's private version of Mean Tweets distract us from the real scandal here. And that is, his long friendship with the very people who were in the house at the crime scene. That the Alberts' son Colin was the ring bearer at his wedding. That one of them offered him a Thank You gift after Karen Read was arrested, and his response was that the gift should go to Mrs. Proctor instead. That he was, without a doubt and by even the most basic standard of professional conduct, conflicted out of this case from Minute One, and should've recused himself. Instead, he led the investigation throughout. And is ultimately responsible for the goatfuck that it became. 

By some insane miracle, one or two of the jurors didn't see it that way. Not enough to vote Not Guilty. But at least the Mass. State Police see Proctor for what he is. And taking him off active duty is a first step toward restoring some credibility to the department. And making it easier for the honest troopers who do their job right and risk their lives in order to serve the public every day. 

That's the positive to come out of the last 24 hours. The negative is that Proctor is still on the payroll.  According to Howie Carr, he made $146,050 last year, and will apparently continue to. For now, at least. But like Carr also points out, Proctor wasn't texting that stuff to himself. There were other MSP officers on those threads:


Making you wonder how many more are going to be "relieved of duty" between now and the start of the retrial. And good luck to whichever Norfolk County prosecutor gets assigned to it and has to explain why his star witnesses aren't working in law enforcement any more.