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"I Can Get Eaten By Whatever!" - Jurassic Park Superfan Scarlett Johansson Practically Begged To Be In The Franchise's Upcoming Reboot And Got Her Wish

The Jurassic Park franchise has gone full ass over tit. The last one that came out in Summer 2022 was nothing short of embarrassing. The first Jurassic World movie was a nice breath of fresh air. Since then Fallon Kingdom and Dominion fell flat on their faces. Just running back the same ol' story with horribly forced nostalgia, bad CGI, minimal fear, and virtually no creativity. It's so hard for me to hate a dinosaur movie, yet there I was completely disgusted with what they came up with for the story's finale two years ago. 

So how do you inject some life into a stale, forgotten movie series? Fast and Furious crossover? Have the dinosaurs get speaking roles? Maybe let them drive cars? Venture into a place where humans and dinosaurs are breeding together? 

Well, it appears they've found their answer. Scarlett Fucking Johansson. 

Always been a big fan of ScarJo, but I never knew she was a gigantic Jurassic Park fan. She goes as far to say the original movie changed her life. It feels like love between us. 

(source) Speaking to ComicBook at the Fly Me to the Moon press junket, Scarlett Johansson confirmed her casting in the next Jurassic installment.

"I'm an enormous Jurassic Park fan. It's one of the first films I remember seeing in the theater. I remember seeing it so vividly. It was like life-changing. It was mind-blowing. I cannot express how excited I am."

"I'm such an enormous fan of the franchise and huge nerd for it. I'm just like, I can't even, I'm pinching myself," Johansson added. "I've been trying to get into this franchise in any possible way for over 10 years. I'm like, 'I'll die in the first five minutes! I can get eaten by whatever! I'll do the craft service!' I'll do anything for it. The fact that it's happened in this way at this time just is actually unbelievable. I can't believe it."

The fact that she apparently was trying to get into the franchise for over 10 years and kept getting denied is insane. I mean fire whoever was in charge of casting. Who was telling her no?? 

This woman is such a big fan she's down to get eaten in the first five minutes and be done with it just so she can say she was in the movie. 

 'I'll die in the first five minutes! I can get eaten by whatever! I'll do the craft service!' I'll do anything for it. The fact that it's happened in this way at this time just is actually unbelievable. I can't believe it."

That's an OG fan right there. 

A new cast with firepower like ScarJo can definitely help, but they really just need to bring back the fear. Give me shocking, intense moments like the kitchen scene with the kids in the first one or the park ranger in the woods hunting the raptor. Have some balls and kill off likable characters like Eddie in Lost World. Also how about dinosaurs acting like dinosaurs and not teaming up with the humans to take out a bigger "final boss" dinosaur? The whole Chris Pratt befriending a raptor thing was insane. Completely lost the direction of where they should have been heading. 

While you're at it, make shit look real like it did back then. It's crazy how realistic everything was presented in 1993, only to see it consumed with bad CGI nowadays. Gareth Edwards at the helm for this one is promising. His work with the first Godzilla (2014) in the new monsterverse gives me some hope. Attack this with that kind of vibe and we're cooking. 

Plus of course the already mentioned Scarlett Johansson. Have her eaten. Let her live. I'm good with anything if she's involved. 

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