Caitlin Clark's Days Are Numbered, There's a 16-Year Old, 7'3" Chinese Women's Basketball Player Who's About to Set The Game Back Half-a-Century

Sorry Caitlin Clark, you had a legendary run. You invented women's basketball. You're Steph Curry-esque shooting taught women everywhere that they too are allowed to take deep three-pointers. You have 2-year old children who wouldn't watch men's basketball in a trillion years glued to their television sets to watch YOU specifically. 

Unfortunately, your days are numbered, because Zhang Ziyu is coming to ruin all the great work you've done to make the game more watchable, and turn it back to the days of throw the ball up to the tall person and let them tall their way to the basket. The minute she's draft eligible, she's going to take 10 long strides across the Pacific Ocean and be on your front door step. And if god forbid the Indiana Fever are still in last place come time she's draft eligible... which based on the teammates you have around you... 


I fear is a very real possibility… if god forbid you end up on the same team as her… you're going to have a real hard time convincing your coach that a contested pull-up from 25-feet out is a better option than running the hi-lo to Zhang Ziyu down in the paint who's standing a full foot taller than Angel Reese.

Ok jokes over. Don't worry Caitlin Clark you'll be fine. There's enough room on the court for both of you. But basketball aside, I didn't know a 7'3" woman was possible. Zhang Ziyu has half a foot on Brittney Griner. And as far as freakishly tall basketball players go, Zhang doesn't look like she's a stiff breeze away from snapping her in half at all times. She has some real girth on her. She's not the fleetest of foot. She certainly doesn't exhibit grace on the court. But unless she succumbs to chronic back problems by the age of 20 (which I'd say has a 50% chance of happening), or tries to cross into Russia with a vape pen, I don't see how Zhang Ziyu doesn't end up in the WNBA. 

If she can perfect the art of catching a basketball above her head, and pivoting 180 degrees without her ankles falling off, she might just re-invent the game. And by "re-invent the game" I mean set the game back 60 years to the days of Wilt Chamberlain dunking on plumbers and accountants.