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Just When You Thought Airline Travel Couldn't Get Any Worse, Rawdogging Flights Is The New Hot Thing

GQ - A 26-year-old Londoner named West went viral in May when he posted about his decision to forgo any entertainment and pass a seven-hour trip watching the flight map. The concept—referred to in a vivid and perhaps unfortunate parlance as “rawdogging,” “flying raw,” and “bareback”—resonated with many in the comments on West's TikTok page,“Yup, from London to Miami this week…pure bareback no food or water,” one wrote. 

West likens flying raw to meditation. “Visually, you are kind of impaired. You only get to look at the seat in front of you, to your right or left if you're at the window. All you hear is that drumming sound of the engine. It's just white noise.” There are benefits to rawdogging beyond its meditative nature. His best ideas, he says, have come from the time spent locked into the flight map, just thinking.

Hearing the word rawdogging makes your ears perk up with excitement. Nothing better than risking it all, sliding in, and riding bareback. Oooo weee what a feeling. BUT, rawdogging is only good when it comes to having sex. All other forms of flying raw suck. Apologies to Frank The Tank, but rawdogging a hotdog without condiments - gross, rawdogging life like a Mormon (without caffeine or alcohol) - terrible, rawdogging a long distance flight - insane behavior. 

Rawdogging a flight might make you have a greater appreciation for getting to your destination, but only because you almost drove yourself crazy at 37,000 feet in the air watching the flight tracker close in on your arrival time. Don't get me wrong, I love checking in on the flight tracker, but a watched pot never boils, and a watched flight tracker never gets you to your destination. Throw in the fact that your stuck in a cramped, uncomfortable, half assed recliner chair with your own thoughts, and that's enough to cause a man open the emergency exit door mid flight. A wise man once told me the 3 most damaging things in the world are ... 

3. Cat Urine 

2. Women out on the town 

1. A man left alone with his own thoughts 

Give me anything to distract myself from myself. A movie, a podcast, even going through old photos on my phone since I usually don't have wifi. I once traveled out to Vegas to meet up with the Wonton Don and had to rawdog not one, but two flights. AND this was a legit rawdog, my cellphone was at 5%, none of the outlets worked in the airport, and the planes were so small that there no outlets, or tv screens for even a flight tracker. For 6 hours I simply stared into the back of the seat in front of me ... waiting. When I finally landed and got to the hotel, Donnie greeted me with the last remaining puffs of a weed pen and I'd never been more grateful.

People say rawdogging a flight is meditative and relaxing, but at any moment, on any flight, these are going to be the same people that snap, and try to fight an airline worker. Riding in silence is something a serial killer would do. 

I'm not saying Blutman is a serial killer, but we might want to check his crawl space.