An Arkansas Woman That Didn't Realize She Was Pregnant Had A Baby In The Bathroom Of A Golden Corral, So She Named It "Corral"

I don't know why I even bother with things such as a 401K and watching my health when this world is a ticking time bomb full of fucking idiots. Does DraftKings offer odds on when this whole "civilization" thing finally comes to an end? Because I'd take a hard Under bet right now before the end of my lifetime. This group of humans has ran it's course, and someone is finally going to cross the line and reset the time clock. I mean, there's simply no way the show can go on when we've got families suing teachers for $100,000 for showing music videos in class that create emotional distress, educators showing up to their 2nd grade job DRUNK and not getting in trouble, and WNBA players complaining about getting "harassed" like were nearly assassinated when a reporter politely asks them a question. Yes, I'm off on a tangent, and yes, that was a textbook way to get more views on my previous blogs, but my point remains: what the fuck is going on in this world? This is an Onion article that is getting published by actual news sources.

The way this story goes is that Ms. Tayvia Woodfork and her family of 12 were visiting a Golden Corral when she experienced stomach pains that sent her to the bathroom. Turns out she was 37 weeks pregnant and had a fucking kid in the bathroom. People on the internet are quoting the Cleveland Clinic saying this is called cryptic pregnancy and while rare it's not that crazy. But let me say this....wait nevermind. I've never seen Ms. Woodfork and Nate has made it very clear to me one topic that is off limits on the blog, so I will NOT be saying what I'm thinking. But using context clues about someone that goes to Golden Corral with their family of 12 and thinks the pain of going into labor is just a trip to the shitter, I could see where this might not just be your normal cryptic pregnancy. 

Anyways, best / worst part of the story is that since Ms. Woodfork gave birth at the GC, she then chose to include Corral in the baby's name.

After paramedics arrived at the restaurant, Tayvia gave birth to a healthy baby boy who weighed 6 lbs., 1 oz. His name: Tamaar Kylon Corral Woodfork.

The old 4 name system! Thank god she tossed it in the 3 hole like Jose Ramirez instead of leadoff like Steven Kwan. Cute and funny (not really) to put it in the name, but a tough scene when every single teacher and/or classmate asks you if you're named after a fucking buffet dinner spot.....and you have to say Yes.