Illinois Policymakers Have FINALLY Agreed To Mandatory Shot Clocks At Every Varsity Basketball Game

WGN - The IHSA announced Tuesday that its Board of Directors has approved the use of a 35-second shot clock beginning with the 2026-27 school year.

The IHSA has allowed shot-clock usage in specific events the past two seasons, but not in general competition.

That will change after a couple more seasons.

“...the overwhelming feedback we have received from coaches is that it is time to embrace the shot clock in all varsity contests,” IHSA Executive Director Craig Anderson said in a statement. “We believe the two-season lead time will provide our schools with ample opportunity to install the shot clocks and get comfortable with them from both a coaching and game administration perspective.”

There's still plenty of time for JB Pritzker to veto the shit out of this. But right now I want to celebrate the shot clock and the courageous individuals authorizing its mandatory usage. 

1st off and most important, we can finally rid high school gymnasiums of the single most pussy behavior in all of sports. No more keep away to kill the clock. 

Most of us should be familiar with the concept. Most of us have probably witnessed some iteration of the move. And I would hope an equal amount of us find it to be complete chicken shit puss bag bologna.

Derrick Rose won state in 2006. Final score was 31-29 because Peoria Richwoods stalled the whole time. Imagine being good enough to play against Derrick Rose in the state championship and coach tells you pregame that you're actually going to be yellow belly cowards on the biggest night of your life. 

Obviously I'm biased on the topic. Bloom Township stalled their way to a 42-40 victory over my Brother Rice crusaders in the 2000 super sectionals. So much controversy behind the game that Gatorade sponsored a full replay in 2010

Shoutout Pat Richardson by the way. Guy never missed a free throw in his life. 

More importantly, and removing all personal bias, I have to say that holding the ball to stall your opponent is my #1 pussy move in sports. It's so long and drawn out and intentional. There's countless other pussy moves but they're so circumstantial. So heat of the moment. 

Like A-Rod slapping Bronson Arroyo 20 something years ago. That's such a bitch move, but it's all spontaneous. You can't gameplan that kind of behavior. 

Maybe a closer comparison would be the Bears offense under Terry Shea in 2004. 1st and 10? Dive. 2nd and 9? Screen. 3rd and 12? Screen harder, maybe fumble. 

Or maybe a regular joe who only hits hybrid off the tee because my driver's been off lately. He's delighted with a 93 because he didn't lose any of his good balls. 

Some other pussies in sports off the top of my head: 

- umpires that squeeze a strike zone because they're having a bad day

- taking a knee in Madden 

- men's league softball batting gloves

- undercutting a guy pursuing a clear path to the basket 

- a lot of professional Italian soccer, generally

I'm missing a lot. You know the gaps. Call to action: what's the biggest pussy move in sports? 

Men's league has a lot of potential. Way too many guys in sliding shorts with taped wrists. You can really explore the space and find some insane tactics to get an edge. In my broad definition, that's what I find to be pussy behavior in sports. 

And when it comes to pussy behavior, nothing competes with stalling in basketball. It's the lowest form of competition and thankfully the IHSA won't stand for it any more. 

PS - If JB somehow screws this up, remember I warned you guys