Karen Read Murder Trial, Week 6.5. The ABCs of the Prosecution's Star Witness: Ass, Balloon Knot, C*nt

While local news reports are usually prone to hyperbole in order to keep your grandparents awake and riveted to the TV until Wheel of Fortune comes on, this one calling Monday's proceedings in the Karen Read murder trial "jawdropping" is not exaggerating. I can't even begin to guess how many jury trials I worked in 17 years as a Massachusetts Court Officer. But it's easily in the hundreds. Everything from a cold case of my old middle school teacher's wife getting murdered by a random drifter while riding her bike through a state forest when I was 15, to a small claims fight over a used $500 wedding dress, and everything in between. And I can promise you, without fear of contradiction, I never witnessed a day anything like what the people in the Dedham Court House experienced yesterday. 

So this one day of testimony deserves its own post. Here's the wrap up of Week 6 with a link to all the previous blogs as a refresher. 

--Throughout the whole pendency of the trial into the homicide of Boston Police Officer John O'Keefe, one name has kept coming up. That of lead investigator from the Mass. State Police, Michael Proctor. To the #FreeKarenRead  segment of the Masshole population - and that group is large and vocal - he's the shadowy figure masterminding the #CantonCoverup. He's the Palpatine behind it all. The Voldemort. The Sauron who is often spoken of, but who hasn't been seen in many an age. In fact, as the trial has unfolded and the prosecution has trotted out about five dozen witnesses without getting to him, there was some speculation they might even try to convict Karen Read of straight up murdering her boyfriend without ever calling the guy who was in charge of building the case against her. Probably due to allegations by the defense against him that wouldn't do the prosecution of this trial any favors:


But all that speculation went out the window when Proctor was finally called to the stand. And what came out in his testimony was worse than those allegations by an order of magnitude. Enough to quite possibly destroy the prosecution's case altogether. It's to the point a lot of YouTube attorneys are saying the Norfolk County District Attorney himself should show up when court resumes on Wednesday and ask the case be dismissed. And I cannot stress this enough, all this because of what came out when Proctor was testifying for the Commonwealth

--But before Proctor was even sworn in, we were treated to his opening act. The rare witness in this trial who seems to have no conflict of interest, no connection to the Albert or the McCabe families. A Canton outsider. A law enforcement officer who objectively testified to what he observed. Just called his balls and strikes with nothing to slant, spin, characterize or hide. And in doing so, completely contradicted the investigators who have claimed Read's passenger side taillight was shattered all over the ground at 34 Fairview Road like puzzle pieces dumped out of the box:

In other words, the damage Officer Nicholas Barros saw was consistent with the Ring video camera the defense showed of her backing out of O'Keefe's garage in the snow and biffing the bumper of his SUV. As opposed to sending a 220 pound police officer hurtling through the air with a shower of deadly polycarbonite shards flying after him like ninja stars, which was the conclusion of Proctor's team.

And credit where it's due to Turtleboy for doing further research into Barros and his public service:


--But having Officer Barros warm up the crowd didn't dissuade Proctor from breaking out his A-material. He played the hits. Including sticking to the story about the shattered taillight. Including the $5 Footlong-sized piece everybody else failed to find in all the previous searches. Even Proctor himself:

--But even if you're predisposed to giving Proctor's testimony more weight than that of Barros, despite the apparent conflict of him investigating the homicide of a man who was found dead on the lawn of a family whose son was the Ring Bearer at Proctor's own wedding, expecting the jury to respect his professional integrity is a big ask. Dozens upon dozens of Proctor's texts were provided to the court, courtesy into the federal investigation into his conduct in this matter. So for the ADA trying this one, this was Adam Lally and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day any way you look at it.

--First, we find out Proctor pretty much told the medical examiner what to find:

Essentially shooting an arrow and then telling the ME to draw a bullseye around it. 

--But then, like the tagline of any cheap, low budget, direct-to-streaming ripoff starring Liam Neeson, things just got personal. First, mere minutes after Proctor insisted he would never reveal anything to anyone about an on-going investigation he was in charge of, he admitted he revealed pretty much everything to everyone about the on-going investigation he was in charge of:


--Then we learned of Proctor's disappointment in not finding NOODZ on Read's phone. And also his hatred for one of her defense attorneys:

Not that there's necessarily hating a lawyer. Or really anyone who's getting paid good money while trying to undermine your professional endeavors:

Giphy Images.

It's when you call his client "retarded" that you're probably going to lose some of the jurors. Or at the very least, cause them to question your objectivity as you led the investigation. But getting exposed for saying Karen Read went full retard was the least of Proctor's public relations nightmares on this day. And it was pretty much the nicest thing he said about her. 

--Proctor was compelled to read what he'd said to friends, family and coworkers about Read. Killing Her Softly With His Texts. Here's the supercut. And it … is … WILD:

"Whack job. Cunt. Is she hot at least? Yes. She's a babe. Weird Fall River accent, though. No ass though. Nutbag, as Chief would say." Kudos to Judge Beverly Cannone (Full disclosure: I worked with her a few times but never had any kind of a working relationship with her to speak of) for not letting Proctor wriggle off the hook with his "C-U-N-T" attempt. She's taking a lot of grief online from those who think she's been too favorable to the ADA, but "These are your words, Trooper Proctor?" was a deft touch. You said it. Own it.


I'll remind you once again since it bears repeating, this is the Commonwealth presenting its case. Trying to convince the jury to find Karen Read guilty of murdering her boyfriend. By, I guess, trying to get out ahead of this terrible look before the defense does. To maybe take all the shock value out of it so it doesn't land with the jurors when it comes up on cross.

Yeah. Good luck with that.

--Even if you're cool with calling someone a cunt and judging them by their ass - both in terms of form and function - in the performance of your professional duties and your text threads are filled with vicious, catty shit (honestly, who's isn't?), there's got to be some sort of HIPAA violation here. A State Police trooper can't just go around texting everyone he knows about a Person of Interest in his investigation having problems with her poo:

The inevitable lawsuit Read has in her future might have just gone into Treble Damages territory.

--It shouldn't be lost on anyone as this plays out that there are 10 women seated on this jury. I've never been much for seeing the world through the lens of "Well, as a __". Well, as a parent … Well, as a person of faith … Well, as a brilliant writer whom women find sexually desirable … I prefer to deal in objective truths that everyone can recognize, regardless of what demographic group they identify with. But still, we have to acknowledge that people are going to bring their own subjective perspectives and experiences into that jury box. And according to people who were in the court room, the ladies in that "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury" were less than OK with hearing the prosecution's key witness calling the defendant a sort of hot but crazy cunt with no ass and loose poops. Not in his private texts. And certainly not in official communications with his superiors on the State Police. The female jurors were reportedly looking at each other with a WTF? look in their eyes:


--And we haven't even discussed the fact that Proctor read further texts where Julie Albert, the homeowner of 34 Fairview and Colin's mother, offered him a gift days after he took over the investigation. And rather than tell her that would be unethical and conflict him right out of the case, he suggested she give one to his wife instead:

That shouldn't be lost in the sensational nature of this trial. But it's hard for a simple, unprofessional and illegal bribe gift to get the attention it deserves when we're talking about cunts and colostomies. 

--So now we wait for Wednesday to see if the defense will get its pound of flesh out of Proctor on cross-examination, or if the county DA will do what the internet lawyers are calling for and take a knee, since this is pretty much a lost cause. Until then, social media has very much made up its mind on Trooper Michael Proctor and his future: