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Xander Schauffele Learned A Valuable Life Lesson The Hard Way: You Don't Ever, Ever Talk Shit To Michael Jordan On The Golf Course

First off, was that a fart at the 15 second mark? I refuse to believe they unleashed a rip like that but you never know. The caddie bending over is a perfect aim point for a loud fart like that. Guys being dudes if so though. Had to lead off with that, it's all I've been thinking about after watching this video.

But then there's the story from Xander. Him and Colt Knost talking about playing golf with Michael Jordan. Look, it's been 40 years of Michael Jordan at this point, when will guys learn to stop talking shit to him in competitive environments? It never works out well for anyone. It doesn't matter if you're Xander. Plus, you gotta know that MJ is going to stack everything in his favor. You're playing on his home course, a course they openly admit is designed strictly for MJ's game. 

It's a bit misleading here though. MJ didn't beat him straight up for the entire match, just a stretch where MJ was getting strokes. But anyone who ever watched Jordan play knows that moment he gets quiet and focused the other person is fucked. It doesn't matter the sport, who he's playing against, anything. It's the kiss of death right then and there. I also need to know how Xander talks shit. I don't think he's a great shit talker, but sneaky good one liners based on his personality. 

Here's what I do think we need going forward. Tiger Woods Ryder Cup captain next year in New York. Then we end the losing streak in Europe by bringing in Michael Jordan in 2027. We don't have a lock for that captain spot yet. Get MJ out there and mix it up to end the losing streak, he can't do worse than Zach Johnson did. 

Lesson as always: don't talk shit to Michael Jordan, even if you're the PGA Championship winner.